


Cigarettes and Coffee

by tenebruhism



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Coffee, Coffee Shops, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Triangles, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, hi idk what i'm doing!!!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26942533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenebruhism/pseuds/tenebruhism
Summary: You just started working at a local coffeehouse, but both Celty and Shinra had neglected to mention that you would be sharing the majority of your shifts with a certain raven-haired nuisance. At least you've got one cute regular though!(Orihara Izaya/Reader/Heiwajima Shizuo)
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya/Reader, Heiwajima Shizuo/Reader, Orihara Izaya/Reader
Comments: 91
Kudos: 70





	1. Lattes, Loathing, and an Avocado

**Author's Note:**

> hi i just got hired at a coffeeshop and this au has been living in my mind rent free SO i thought why not make it a fic! this is my first fic AAA! just wanna try to have some fun, so i hope you enjoy and i love hearing your thoughts! :)

“Can I get your number? Because I can feel something _brewing_ between us _,_ ” the kid with dirty blond hair says to you. “Or, wait: hold the sugar, you’re sweet enough,” he winks. The dark haired boy and girl with glasses behind him wince.

You raise a tired eyebrow. You’d seen these three hanging around since you started here last week, but this was the first time they had actually come up to the counter.

“Nice try. I liked the first one better, though. Are you going to order something or not?” You reply. He’d been dropping coffee related pickup lines for the past few minutes, and they were just getting worse and worse. The dark haired boy cuts in.

“S-sorry! Three lattes please,” He says apologetically.

“Name?”

“I’m Masaomi,” the other boy tries again in a tone you can only assume he thinks is attractive but makes you want to laugh. The dark haired one tries to nudge him aside, introducing himself as Mikado. You jot the name on the cups. 

“And what’s your name?” You ask the girl as you ring Mikado up. You have a feeling you’ll be seeing a lot of this trio, so you might as well know who they are.

“Oh—I’m Anri,” the girl says, slightly startled.

You smile at her as you ignore the rest of Kida’s attempts at flirting with you. “Better get these going,” you wave the cups at them and walk over to the espresso machine. You set down the cups down and glance around. Maybe this is your chance…

“No, no, you’re only on drip coffee,” Izaya suddenly appears, smacking your hand away from the steaming wand. “Don’t even think about espresso. You have no idea what you’re doing,” he smirks.

You let out an noise of exasperation. “Well, if you were training me like were _supposed_ to, maybe I would.”

He shrugs. “Tell Shinra for all I care. In the meantime, take out the trash.”

You grimace. You understand this kind of grunt work is to be expected…but you thought you’d be starting to make drinks every now and then after a while. Celty had recommended you to Shinra, the manager of the coffeehouse, and he only seemed to make occasional, overwhelmingly cheerful appearances. Both of them had neglected to mention that you would be sharing the majority of your shifts with a certain raven-haired nuisance.

You pull the trash out of the bin and tie the bag. “You just don’t want me to get barista certification so you don’t have to split tips!”

Izaya’s eyes glitter with amusement, and he points at you, then the door. You roll your eyes and huff as you drag the large trash bag out toward the dumpster out back.

Twilight blooms across the sky as the sun begins to set. The cool autumn air of the day is shifting to the cold wind of the night. Since the Inkwell was open later on the weekends, you’d be spending the rest of the night with Izaya.

You sigh deeply as you haul the black bag into the dumpster, and it gives a satisfying _thunk_ as it hits the bottom. As you pull over the lid, you notice a few sketchy figures down the end of the alley. _Well, it is a sketchy alley. Kind of makes sense,_ you think, brushing it off. Besides, you were pretty sure this alley led to the back of that concert venue, so there were bound to be a few stragglers on the weekends. You quickly head back inside, with a shudder from the unexpected cold.

Though you’re not exactly excited for another night shift with Izaya, you do love the way the shop looks at night with the many odd, warmly lit lamps and multicolored string lights shining through the bookshelves and dappling over the mismatched furniture and diner booths that lead to the small stage in the corner.

Izaya seems to have slinked off into the back again, so take your spot behind the cash register. Another customer walks in, a tall blonde man dressed in dark clothes, hands in his pocket. Purple sunglasses laid across his handsome face. He approaches you, looking up at the menu. The trio from earlier in the corner seems to take notice of him and watch with some interest.

“Do you do avocados here?” He asks, gruffly. You stare at him.

“Avocados? Like…do we sell the fruit here?” You ask, completely puzzled.

Now he looks a little confused, too. “No…the one with ice cream.” An avocado with ice cream?

You think about he could possibly be referring to. “Do you mean…affogatos?”

“Oh. Yeah, that,” he replies. You look around. No sign of Izaya…you lean across the counter, putting your hands up.

“Okay, well we do not usually sell that, and I’m technically I’m not allowed to do the espresso yet. But…I’ll try it if you’re okay with that. Or I could just put some ice cream in a coffee,” You offer.

He shrugs. “Yeah, that’ll work.”

You smile as you pull out the vanilla ice cream and start to scoop some out. Why bother getting the coffee at all when he could just eat some ice cream?

“You know, we only have this ice cream because I like to have it around,” you admit in a stage whisper. You splash some coffee into cup of ice cream. You hand him the knockoff affogato as you contemplate how you might ring this concoction up. Izaya still wasn’t there, so…

“On the house. For letting me get creative,” you laugh.

He raises an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, well, if Izaya isn’t going to train me, accidents such as forgetting to charge customers are bound to happen!”

You notice his eyes momentarily narrow at the sound of Izaya’s name, but he sticks some cash in the tip jar anyway.

He raises up the cup as he starts to leave. “Well, thanks for the avocado,” he says, and you have to suppress your instinct to correct him because it’s very cute. As he exits, Izaya finally reappears.

“About time,” you mutter.

“Was that Shizu-chan? Shame I missed him!” Izaya says in mock sadness.

“Who?” You ask. You forgot to ask his name.

“That’s Shizuo Heiwajima.” Izaya smirks. “He’s quite a monster.” You scoff. Yeah, sure, a monster who wants ice cream in his coffee and calls affogatos avocados. You don’t really know what Izaya could be referring to, but you find it hard to believe him anyway.

A few people remain scattered about the place, murmuring amongst themselves as Izaya’s eclectic mix blares throughout. You see a few eyebrows raised because of it, actually. There are no events scheduled this weekend, so it’s probably going to be quiet. You slide behind the counter and locate the aux cord.

“No one wants to hear your weird music, Izaya,” you say as you switch the song. Wow, he has quite a lot of notifications…Izaya whirls around.

“Don’t touch my phone,” he snaps, wrenching it harshly from your hands. Annoyance burns through you; you’ve had just about enough of this dynamic. You take an angry step toward him.

“Enough, Izaya! I don’t know why you’re so insistent on being such an asshole! If you’re trying to make me quit, too bad. You’re stuck with me and you’re just going to have to get used to it. Do your job and teach me how to do mine.” 

He stares at you for a moment, calculating, and then slowly smiles as he looks down at you. He leans over. “Oh, so you do have a backbone after all! I was wondering if I was doomed to be with a spineless idiot forever!” Izaya derisively laments.

“Shut up. Show me how to make a latte,” You demand.

Izaya grins, and shockingly seems to oblige as he turns to the counter and grabs the frothing pitcher. As he’s demonstrating, he exhales.

“I expected tonight to be boring.” He puts the pitcher under the steam wand. You peek over his shoulder to get a better view of what he’s doing, but he’s not exactly explaining. He glances over, and seems to be surprised for a split second to find that you’re so close to him. It’s so brief you think you may have imagined it; he’s never caught off guard.

He fiddles with the machine in ways you’re not quite following, but still. This feels like it could be a step in the right direction. “But now…” he pours the milk into a mug, perfectly frothed as it blends with the coffee. He hands to you. “But now I can leave!”

You sputter, clutching the cup as he starts to take his apron off and walks toward his fur-lined coat on the rack. “Leave?!” You protest, trailing behind him. “You-”

“Well, now you know how to steam the milk and since I know you’re not a,” he pauses for effect, “a _completely_ mindless moron, you should be just fine closing up on a dead night like this!” He puts on his coat and puts a hand on your shoulder, barely concealing a laugh. He thrusts the keys in your hand.

“Goodbye!” He waves, and before you can get in another word, Izaya is out the door. You stare in disbelief as it clatters to a shut. You close your eyes. It’s going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks @hellafish for the affogato/avocado idea hahahaha!!!! also i'm sorry if some of the coffee details were off, i'm still learning how to do it myself!


	2. An Affinity for Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the most alternate part of this au is that shizuo doesn't try to kill izaya on sight

The autumn leaves scatter across the pavement, whirling around you as you crunch through the few that remain pressed to the street. It’s a little overcast today, and your train was delayed so you’re rushing from the station to the Inkwell. You see the warm lights through the window, and pull your jacket tighter until you breeze through the door, out of breath. Patrons chatter throughout the shop. As you reach for your apron, you notice Izaya tapping his watch.

He shakes his head. “Late! Wouldn’t want to have to tell Shinra about this!”

“Oh-you wouldn’t-” you’re still catching your breath, “and you’re-one-to talk!” You take a deep breath as you tie your apron around your waist. “Like he’d be on your side, anyway.”

You begin to pump the espresso, and this time you’re the one who gets to smirk at Izaya. Ever since he ditched you on that night shift, apparently Shinra’s threat to fire him was credible enough that it got Izaya to train you on the espresso machine, so you’re finally a certified barista. But you still feel a little unconfident making the drinks; the steaming wand could be especially finnicky.

As you wrangle the espresso machine, you keep an eye on the door, and Izaya notices.

“Waiting for Shizu-chan already?” He laughs. You look away. Yeah…that’s exactly what you were doing. He sometimes came in earlier, unless he was working tonight. Then he’d come in before his shift started. You’d been trying to get him to branch out from the knockoff affogatos, which he still adorably called avocados, by methodically going through the menu. Still, progress was slow. He really did prefer sweet things.

“No…!” You reply, not convincingly at all. “So what if I am?” You follow up, defensively.

“Oh, you’ve a _crush_ , don’t you?” Izaya says, delighted to find you embarrassed.

“I’m just—trying to share my affinity for coffee. I really can’t stand you,” you add with a blush.

He puts his hands up. “Oh, sure. I just don’t understand what you see in Shizu-chan. Really, he’s so painfully dense.”

You decide not to engage any further and start on the pour over, trying to keep your hopeful glances at the door under control. You consider which drink to make him today, and while Izaya isn’t looking, you plug your phone into the aux cord. You wonder how long he’ll take to notice…maybe thirty seconds? Longer if he’s in the middle of checking over the receipts.

No, it’s thirty seconds. He turns around.

“What’s this?” He looks at your phone, examining the playlist you had made. “Coffee…coffee…coffee…oh, cigarettes and coffee…coffee,” he reads out the titles of the songs. “Not very subtle,” he waves your phone. 

“I’m ‘embracing the finer points of the job,’” you say with air quotes and a laugh. It’s something Shinra often said. A lot. Over and over again, in fact.

“Nice try,” he says as he unplugs your phone, but you think you might see a faint smile. Maybe you can try it again while he restocks later. The battle for control of the music was an endless war. You hear the door jingle, and you turn to see Shizuo. Izaya gives you a knowing look and you flash your eyes at him. _Don’t even think about it!_ Like that would ever stop him though.

“Shizu-chan!” Izaya says, dripping with cheer.

“Izaya…” Shizuo grimaces. “I told you not to call me that,” he growls. Izaya opens his mouth to say something else, but you interject.

“Don’t you have inventory to do?”

“I did need to check how many idiots we have, but I think we have plenty,” he says, not missing a beat as he pointedly looks between you and Shizuo and saunters off to the back room before Shizuo possibly attacks him. You sigh.

“Ugh…sorry. But I think you’re going to like what I’ve got planned today!” You clap your hands. “This is the one. I can feel it!” You grin and start to make the drink. “So, I take it you’re not working tonight?”

“Yeah, I’ve got today off.” He watches you work. “But the rest of the week is pretty booked up.”

“Ooh! Anyone interesting playing?” You had learned by now that Shizuo’s a bouncer at the music hall that shared the same back alley with the coffeehouse.

“Uh…I’m not sure who they are,” he admits.

“Shizuo! I don’t want to miss anyone cool, and you’re supposed to be my guy on the inside!” You tease and put down the drink down in front of him. “Okay…are you ready!”

He softly smiles at your enthusiasm. “As long as it’s not like the Americano…”

You wince. “Yeah, I do not know why I bothered to give you that…oh! Stop!” you say before Shizuo can take a taste.

“Hmm?” He pauses.

You pull out a can of whipped cream and top off the drink. “Alright, now it’s perfect!”

He chuckles as he takes a sip, and nods with approval. “That’s pretty good…what is it?”

“A mocha! I can’t believe I didn’t think of it first thing…it’s like chocolate coffee! Perfect for a sweet tooth like you.”

You notice he’s got a little whipped cream on the tip of his nose. _Cute…!_

“You got something there,” you laugh and tap your own nose.

“Hm? Oh,” He sets his sunglasses down on the counter. You hand him a napkin, and he wipes it away.

Suddenly, an all too familiar voice interrupts. “Okay, that’s enough flirting!” Izaya abruptly returns with an armful of coffee cups, and pushes them into your hands.

“Iz-Izaya!” you squeak, nearly falling over from the mixture of surprise and the velocity of the cups. “I’m not—,”

“Make sure to leave a nice tip for the pretty girl, Shizu-chan!”

You could just die right there, bright red. Shizuo scowls, but also seems a little pink himself.

“Whatever, flea.” But his eyes linger on you, and he shoves a few bills in the tip jar anyway. “Thanks…” he says gruffly. It had taken awhile for him to warm up at all…you hope Izaya didn’t undo it in one fell swoop.

“Come again!” Izaya calls out after him as he leaves.

“Thanks a lot!” You throw down the coffee cups on the counter. “Do you just enjoy making my life more difficult?”

He doesn’t answer, instead intently looking at Shizuo’s forgotten sunglasses on the counter. You snatch them first.

“I’ll give them to him when he comes back,” you say, putting them carefully in your apron pocket.

“Hmm, and you think he will come back?”

“Why not? He likes coffee now…”

“God, maybe you are a good match. You’re both so completely dumb,” Izaya says, and you throw your hands up. You had thought you might’ve been getting past the blatant insults. You thought maybe you were getting a _little_ friendlier, even if he was still annoying. 

“Oh, _fuck off_ already, Izaya!” You snap. He stares at you for a second, seemingly surprised by this outburst, but then he starts to laugh as you glare at him. A little friendlier? Absolutely not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i DID make the coffee playlist if anyone is interested in it HAHAHAHA :) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5e3lT8vgpZW6ZfAYyOQd8N?si=nuM2H8r3Rv6AEwCWTbBNEw


	3. Anyway, Here's Wonderwall Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a little SILLY but i hope it's fun :)

Shinra strums the guitar, oblivious to the looks on your and Izaya’s faces as he sings—if you could even call it that—incredibly out of tune. The shop closed early today so the two of you could sit through the auditions for the open mic night. Even though it was still called an open mic night (so anyone could sign up to perform), you now had to vet the acts ever since someone attempted a very lengthy and offensive stand-up routine. After what feels like forever, he finally finishes his terribly long love ballad dedicated to Celty. It’s…very detailed.

“I’ve been practicing!” He beams at you. “I think music might be my new side gig!”

“Shinra, I thought…managing the Inkwell _was_ your side gig,” you say hesitantly, hoping to save him from himself. And save everyone else from this experience. _Even though you’re barely here anyways,_ you privately think. You knew he practiced medicine too, so that was probably why he wasn’t around much. It sounded like sketchy work though, so you didn’t really want to know the details. All you really know is that the only reason he’s managing a coffeehouse is to help save up for grad school.

“It’s the perfect opportunity: I can manage _and_ play on the open mic nights!”

Probably the only thing holding Izaya back from telling Shinra how awful he is was the fact that he was still on thin ice for dodging his shifts, but you could tell he was reevaluating if it was worth it to tell him anyway. 

“Aren’t the open night mics meant for patrons?” You try tentatively before Izaya blows it.

“Well, I wouldn’t be _working_ the night of!”

Hm. You try a different approach.

“You know, Shinra…I’m just not sure the world is ready to experience everything you have to offer. This is some…experimental…and such…sensitive work you’re showing us. It’s very…” you pause, trying to think of how to phrase this as you recall how detailed his lyrics were. “…intimate.”

Izaya stifles a laugh and you kick him under the table. Shinra considers this.

“Your artistry is just too powerful for the rest of us! Only…only you and Celty could achieve such a beautiful relationship!” You hope you’re not overdoing it, but it looks like it’s getting through to him. He jumps off the tiny stage, throwing his hands in the air.

“You’re right! She’s so sexy and amazing! The world isn’t ready for how intense our love is!” He flails. “I’m going to go find her right now!!!”

That worked a lot better than you expected, and you make a mental note to just mention Celty if you need to redirect Shinra.

“Oh-oh okay!” you say as he flees the shop. You carefully cross his name out. “Phew.”

Izaya swings his leg. “Ow, that was quite a kick! Not very nice, Bigfoot. I might have to report you to the manager for harassment.”

You roll your eyes at that deeply ironic last part, considering all the crap he pulls. “Did you _want_ to have to sit through that again? I saved us!”

Before he can respond, the next auditionee steps up. Anri nervously stares at you clutching a ukulele.

“Anri!” You greet her enthusiastically. She had become quite a regular at the coffeehouse. “What are you playing today?”

“Oh, uh. I’m—” she speaks quietly, “I’m playing Wonderwall.”

“What an original choice!” Izaya remarks, and you consider kicking him again. She does not seem to be aware of the cliché.

“Go ahead, Anri! Whenever you’re ready,” You say encouragingly instead. After a moment, she takes a deep breath and begins softly. Yes, you’ve heard this song a million times…but she plays a beautiful version. You can’t help but clap when she finishes.

“Anyway, here’s—” Izaya starts, but you interrupt.

“That was amazing, Anri! Thank you!” You smile. “Can’t wait to see you at open mic night!”

You wave as she leaves. “Is there anyone else left?” You ask.

“Just your other friend. I wouldn’t have pinned you for a cougar,” Izaya smirks as you glance at the list.

“Who...? Oh. And I am NOT.” You drum your fingers on the table, waiting until Masaomi bursts into the shop. He had been coming in consistently with Mikado and Anri and asking you out every single time. You were almost impressed he still hadn’t run out of lines yet.

“Sooo sorry I’m late but you know how it goes! Just can’t keep the ladies away from me!” He steps onto the stage. He grabs the mic and points at you. “This one goes out to this beautiful lady right here!”

You facepalm as he starts rapping, with lyrics that include several professions of love to you. Izaya watches you with amusement.

“Wow…that…sure was something, Masaomi,” you say after he finishes and drops the mic with a clatter. Izaya puts a big check mark next to Masaomi’s name as he hops off the stage.

Masaomi winks at you and hands both of you a mixtape.

“I’m also on Soundcloud,” he says as you examine the tape. Wow. He actually made a cassette to give out. You point at the name on it, emblazoned in doodles of fire: KDAWG$. Izaya tosses it into the trashcan, but Masaomi is too busy looking at you to notice.

“KDAWG…money?”

“The $ is silent,” he replies. “I’m still deciding between KDAWG$ and K$WAGG.”

“Yes…not a decision to be made lightly.”

“So…after hearing all that…” He leans across the table. “Will you go out with me now?”

“Um, NO,” you can’t help but laugh. “This is your best try yet, though.”

“Breaking my heart once again…” Masaomi says tearfully.

“Think about it this way: this’ll be more songwriting content for you,” you say, standing up. You’re pretty eager to go home after all of those auditions. Izaya gets up too.

“Don’t take it personally, Masaomi. She only has eyes for Shizu-chan, for some ungodly reason. Tragically, the feelings must not be mutual, since Shizu-chan has yet to return,” he smiles. Unfortunately, it was true that Shizuo had not been back for a while…you think about his sunglasses still tucked into your apron pocket.

“Maybe he’s just avoiding how charming you are,” you mutter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY NO SHIZUO IN THIS ONE...*crying*


	4. Halloween

“I’m making it official: all employees have to get in the spirit and dress up! People will love it,” Shinra announces. He’s already dressed as Dr. Frankenstein. “And, as a promotion, we’ll add a free pastry to their purchase for any customer dressed up!”

“It’s…it’s so early, Shinra,” you yawn, barely registering his words. The shop just opened but no one was there yet. Speaking of which, where the hell was Izaya? You think of your cozy, abandoned bed back in your apartment longingly. 

“I didn’t even bring anything. Why didn’t you text us?” You grumble.

“I thought you said you loved Halloween! Anyway, have no fear,” he pulls out a box of costume supplies and puts in on the counter. He even brought a few pumpkins.

“Take your pick!” He checks his phone. “I have to get going. ‘It’s alive!’ And all that,” he indicates his lab coat. “Well, hopefully they’re still alive,” he adds thoughtfully.

“That’s dark, Shinra.” You peer into the box as Izaya finally shows up.

“Taking a page out of The Modern Prometheus?” He says, observing Shinra’s get up.

“Don’t be pretentious. Just call it Frankenstein like everyone else,” you roll your eyes as you fill up a pot of coffee. You’re going to need some ASAP.

“Happy Halloween!” Shinra waves goodbye and rushes off.

“And look at you! Are you Frankenstein’s monster?” Izaya says to you.

“Ha ha,” you reply and pump yourself a cup of coffee, taking a large gulp. It’s too early to deal with him. You leaf through the box of objects.

“Shinra says we have to dress up. For promotional reasons, or something.” You pull out some things and lay them out. A crown, a cowboy hat, a pair of cat ears…that feels like a safe choice, and you select them. Plus, you think you already have some eyeliner you could use to draw whiskers. 

“Boring,” Izaya remarks and starts looking through the crate and selects an item. You pull out the eyeliner and a mirror from your bag and start adding cat makeup.

“Well, what do you have?”

He bares his teeth and you see he’s got vampire fangs.

“Oh, that’s perfect for you. Wait—” You dig through and find what you’re looking for. You take out some fake blood and smear it on his face.

“Now it’s perfect,” you laugh as his look of surprise turns into a smirk as he snatches the fake blood from your hand and dumps some on you.

“Hey—come on!” You complain. “What, am I zombie cat now?” 

“You lost your ninth life,” Izaya says with mock sadness. The first of the morning rush finally arrives. You put the box under the counter, and you try to wipe off some of the blood as a customer approaches.

“Hi, Happy Halloween! What can I get for you?”

**-**

“You’re the only boo I’m looking for this Halloween!” Masaomi throws his hands onto the counter.

“Oh, switching up the theme, are we? How seasonally appropriate,” You remark as you adjust your cat ears. You eye the trio’s costume. “I’m guessing you picked Star Wars, Han?” You ask him as you start their normal order.

“Actually, it was Mikado’s idea!” He throws an arm around him and Mikado laughs. “I wanted him to be Chewbacca, though.”

“No way! Luke makes more sense for a group of three, anyway.”

“And Anri wouldn’t wear the Jabba the Hut Leia costume…” Masaomi sighs.

“Um yeah, I think that was a wise decision.” You place the lattes on the counter. “You guys are a lot later today.”

“Yeah, we’re gonna PARTY soon! Wanna come?”

You raise an eyebrow. Hard to picture Mikado or Anri partying.

“Uh, I’m…working…” you decide to offer this reason out of the many to reject him as you pull out some of the free pastries. They assemble some cash for the drinks and you shake your head.

“Hey, Izaya isn’t looking and we’re nearly closed. Don’t worry about it.”

Maybe he was cleaning for once. Wait…he better not have ditched you again. You decide to go back into the back room and check. Empty. Maybe the cellar…you frown. You find the cellar spooky normally…oh, it was no big deal. You walk down the hallway and open the door, looking down. The lights never consistently worked down there.

“Are you down there…?” You call down. Not like he would necessarily answer though. You step down the creaky stairs. You think you hear some shuffling...whispering.

“This isn’t funny,” you mutter, approaching the bottom and looking around. The single lightbulb lazily flickers. It’s very cold. You thought you saw a strange shadow but...he’s not there. _Great_ , you think and turn around, when suddenly a box of mugs inexplicably crashes from the top shelf and you scream in surprise. You race back up the stairs and topple into Izaya.

“What are you _yelling_ about?”

“I, uh, was looking for you! Where’d you go!”

“…I had to step out for a moment,” he says cryptically. It probably wasn’t for anything other than to annoy you. “What happened down there?”

“Oh! Oh…” you look at him very seriously. “I think…there might be a ghost down there.”

He bursts out laughing. “Ha ha ha! You’re so dumb! You only think that because it’s Halloween!”

You cross your arms. “I’m telling you, there was something down there! And that box didn’t just move on its own!”

“You know, I do think there was a gruesome murder in this building years ago. Or was it a murder-suicide?” Izaya ponders, then grins. “Come on,” he grabs you and starts to pull you down the stairs again.

“Ah! Cut it out!” But you’re too busy focusing on not falling down to try to wriggle free. At the bottom of the stairs, you both look around. You jerk away, but still kind of hide behind Izaya. Better him then you. It’s still oddly cold, and the light continues to flash. Really, the only difference now is now there are several shattered mugs on the floor.

“That’s disappointing,” Izaya says. You can see his breath…and you hear that weird rustling again.

“Don’t you hear that?” you whisper with a tug on his sleeve. The fluctuating shadows from the light make you uneasy.

“Old buildings make strange noises,” he shrugs. Then, a cabinet door slams shut and you both jump. Another box smashes down with a clatter. The whole shelf begins to teeter.

“OH YEAH, _I’M_ THE DUMB ONE!” You yelp sarcastically as you yank him up the stairs before the whole thing comes down on the two of you. He closes the cellar door behind you.

“Well…that wasn’t normal,” he notes.

“No kidding, genius,” you say. “Satisfied?”

“I’m never satisfied. It was probably just a draft.”

“That’s some draft…” you murmur. “You would be the first to die if this was a horror movie. Living in denial.” 

“You’re the one who went down there in the first place. You’re a textbook first victim. You’d probably run up the stairs instead of out the front door if there was a serial killer in your house.”

“Oh, what a thoughtful analysis. Thanks.”

You try to push the thought of a potential haunting from your mind as you wipe down the counters and dump the coffee grounds. _No, no. There were no such thing as ghosts,_ you tell yourself. You and Izaya close up quickly. 

“Bye, Pet Sematary. Or, Schrodinger’s Cat?” He suggests, locking the door.

“Bye, Drac. Or do you prefer Twilight?” You reply as you leave, clutching the jack-o-lantern you made today between the rushes and the paranormal investigations. It’s surprisingly heavy, but you want to keep it.

You don’t get very far before you run into a ghost. A very tall bedsheet ghost, that is.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” The bedsheet ghost stares at you. Or, at least, you think they’re staring at you. You can’t actually tell.

“…You closed, then?”

“…Shizuo?” You know that voice, even though it’s muffled. He nods. “Oh yeah, we closed a bit early today. A holiday and all that.” You try to hold up your pumpkin to demonstrate.

“I see you dressed up!” You smile.

You see his feet shuffle a little. “Huh? Oh. Yeah, they wanted us to dress up for work for some reason but I had forgotten.”

“Shinra didn’t even tell us he wanted us to dress up until we got there! So, I am also sporting a last minute costume.”

“What’s the deal with all the blood?”

“Oh…just got a little creative with the costume. It’s funny that you’re a ghost! I was just convinced the cellar was haunted.” You laugh and shrug. “Good thing ghosts not real…”

“Ghosts are real. Definitely.”

“Huh?” You can’t read his expression…you step under the sheet to get a better look at him. He looks quietly surprised, but also a little like he might be holding back a laugh.

“Oh! You’re messing with me, aren’t you? Ha ha.” There’s a pause as you realize how close you are to him, standing under the bed sheet. You blush as you suddenly remember the last time you saw him. You know, when Izaya openly called you out for flirting?

“I haven’t seen you around the shop much lately…” You say, looking up at him, hoping he wasn’t also remembering the last time you saw each other.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry…” he says awkwardly. “Work’s been busy…a lot more bastards pissing me off more than usual…” His brow furrows.

“Well, we’re having an open mic night soon! You should come! It should be fun,” you smile.

“Hmm…yeah, okay. I’ll try to make it.” 

“There’ll be a mocha with your name on it! Gah,” you step out from under the sheet now, but nearly drop the pumpkin from the weight. You try to fix your grip.

“Where you headed?”

“Just to the station.” It was only a few blocks away from the coffeehouse, which was convenient. Shizuo takes your jack-o-lantern from your hands.

“Come on,” he says, starting to walk you to there.

“Oh-oh! Thanks!” You take a few quick steps to match his pace and smile to yourself. _Happy Halloween,_ you think.


	5. Anyway, Here's Wonderwall Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, a shizuo/izaya clash!!!! 👀

“No, no. To the left,” you say, sitting in the booth as Shinra tries to center the sign.

“Why do you guys need to sit there again?” He asks.

“It’s the seat with the best vantage point of the stage.”

“She’s wrong, you need to move it to the right,” Izaya says, just to contradict you. You try to elbow him, but he dodges.

“Well, this isn’t very helpful,” Shinra replies. Izaya kicks his feet up, but you knock them off the table.

“How rude!” he says as you laugh.

“That’s so unsanitary!”

“Couldn’t one of you help?” Shinra, and you sigh. Looks like you can’t go much longer on the guise of “supervision” and “an artistic eye.” You poke Izaya to let you out of the booth, which he does, slowly and overdramatically. You step on stage and help Shinra attach the “Inkwell Presents” banner behind the sound setup.

“Okay, well, double check everything! I need to go prepare!!!” Shinra says, heading to the back room. Unfortunately, you were not able to talk him out of his Celty ballad. But at least he decided to take on the extra duties while he’s not performing, so the open mic should pretty much run itself once it begins. You can just relax and run interference if any problems arise.

As you double check the PA system, people start to trickle in. A few head to the already brewed pots you’ve got set up, and you keep a careful eye on the growing crowd.

“Oh, that’s a little sad, isn’t it? You think Shizu-chan will show up after two weeks of avoiding you?” Izaya says.

“Psh, first of all, I’m pretty sure he’s avoiding you, as I wish I could. And what, are you keeping track or something? Second of all, I ran into him on Halloween, and he said he’d come.” Well…the last part wasn’t exactly true, but you are pretty sick of Izaya’s smug face. 

“A _date?_ ”

“It’s-it’s not a date!”

“Sure it’s not. Well, I can’t wait to see how it goes. If he doesn’t stand you up, of course!” And with that he leaves you by the speakers.

Now you’re not sure if it would be better or worse for Shizuo to come…you forgot to factor in Izaya’s presence when you invited him. But find you’re still hoping he does come. _Izaya will probably slip away as soon as he thinks Shinra isn’t paying attention,_ you reason. You wave at Masaomi, Mikado, and Anri when they arrive.

You finish up your final check. You go to the storage closet in the back and pick up some clothes you had brought for tonight and head into to the bathroom to change. You look at yourself in the mirror, and you look pretty good if you do say so yourself. You go back into the main part of the shop, where it’s gotten quite filled up, and claim a low couch toward the back that still has a decent angle.

“Do you dress up that much for all of your not-dates?” Izaya asks, startling you.

“I-shut up! I didn’t want to wear the barista uniform all day! Anyway, you can go now. Shinra’s not looking,” you wave your hand toward the door.

“Oh, I wouldn’t miss this!” He sits down next to you and you frown. Since the couch is a bit old, the long formed depression in the cushions force you and him to slide into the middle, closer together. He checks his watch and shakes his head. “Looks like Shizu-chan is cutting it close…”

“Please leave,” you groan. He’s never going to let you live this down. The lights start to dim. Shinra lugs out a guitar that seems a bit oversized for him.

“Anyway, here’s Wonderwall,” Izaya whispers and a giggle escapes you in spite of yourself.

“I wish it was Wonderwall instead of this,” you sigh as Shinra begins his TMI ballad. “Guess we’ll have to wait. I don’t know though…this might not be as bad as your music taste.” You two still fought over the aux cord often.

“Oh, please. You have no idea what good music taste is. You’re too uncultured.”

You burst out with a laugh. A few people turn their heads, and Izaya smirks.

“I don’t know how you can seriously say that considering the crap you play,” you whisper back. Shinra remains as horribly out of tune as last time. “…But you know what? I’ll concede this is worse. You think Celty knows about this?”

Izaya points at Celty standing in the corner, facepalming; you didn’t realize she was there. It sounds like Shinra had made a few adjustments to the lyrics, and not for the better. A random person flops down on the other end of the couch, and the abrupt addition of their weight knocks you into Izaya, almost on top of him.

“Oh…sorry!” You blush. He looks uncharacteristically, genuinely surprised for a moment before he adjusts his expression.

“Ever the flirt, aren’t you? I’m honored to be included,” Izaya smiles. You lightly push him, rolling your eyes.

“You gotta be kidding me. I’m-I’m getting a drink,” you stand up.

“Better hurry! I think your other lover boy is up soon! K$WAGG?”

“Not my lover boy! And…KDAWG$,” you fruitlessly correct him and grimace. You walk over to the coffee and the refreshments. People mill around, chatting quietly in the back, when you notice a tall blond leaning against the wall, surveying the mass of people.

You walk up to him, waving. “Shizuo! You came!” Was it your imagination or did he look a little nicer than usual too?

“Huh?” He turns to you. “Oh, hi. Sorry I’m late. I couldn’t tell where you were…”

“Ah, yeah, a dimly lit room full of a crowd…probably not the easiest place to find someone. Here,” you make a sort of “gimme” motion with your hand. Shizuo looks at you. “Your phone,” you clarify with a laugh.

“Oh, sure,” he hands it to you, and you add your number.

“I’m surprised you don’t have to work! I thought I heard there was a big show over there tonight.” You hand him back his phone. “Late or not, looks like you’ve managed to catch Shinra’s performance. I’m deeply sorry.” He chuckles.

“Maybe your headliner got wind of our open mic night and got intimidated!” You joke.

You both watch Shinra for a minute.

“I would’ve expected Celty to give him a few jabs for this by now,” he says, and you laugh.

“Yeah, it’s probably a matter of time. She’s so cool.” You both nod with approval. “Well…” you smile at him. “I’m glad you made it.”

He raises his eyebrows and looks down at you. “…Me too,” he replies after a moment.

The crowd weakly applauds as Shinra finishes. The next performer heads on stage; you remember them, and they’re significantly better, so you scheduled them to play a bit of a longer set. Some people around you start to dance.

“Oh thank god. They’re pretty good. If you thought Shinra was something though, wait until you hear Masaom—I mean, KDAWG$.”

“KDAWG$?”

“His rapper name,” you explain. “It’s truly terrible.” You continue to chat for a little while; well, you’re doing most of the talking, but Shizuo seems content to listen to you go on about coffee, music, and whatever else that happens to come up.

After a while, you start to dance to the song playing. It’s the first more upbeat one. Shizuo watches you.

“Not a dancer, I take it?” You ask, and he shakes his head. “Come on,” you pull his hand anyway, leading you into a twirl. Those coffee brown eyes still look apprehensive—oh! You stop suddenly as you remember, and nearly fall. Shizuo catches you.

“You alright?” Shizuo asks, his arm around you.

“Uh, guess I’m not much of a dancer either,” you laugh nervously as he effortlessly steadies you. “Thanks…” you hope you’re not bright red.

“But, um, I just remembered! I have something for you,” you grin, and pull him towards the back room. “Oh yeah…I know I promised a mocha, but the espresso machine is off, so you’ll just have to come back for that,” you tease.

You open the door and locate your apron. Shizuo lingers outside.

“You can come in…” you pick up your apron from the hook and pull out his sunglasses from the pocket. “I would’ve given them to you on Halloween, but I didn’t have my stuff!”

“I thought I had lost those. Thanks…I appreciate it,” he smiles as you hand them to him. Muffled music filters through to the back, and as you look at him, it strikes you again how handsome he is.

“Oh, so this is where you got off to!” Izaya laughs coolly from the doorway. Shizuo immediately tenses, and puts his hand on the beverage cooler next to him. You close your eyes.

“What’s your deal?” Shizuo growls.

“Is it too hard to believe I wanted to check on the safety of my co-worker?”

You cross your arms. “Yes, it is, Izaya.”

“Well, believe it or not, it’s a good thing I did…because you still don’t know!” He snaps his fingers. 

“Shut up, flea,” Shizuo warns. 

“…know what?” You’re not inclined to believe Izaya on…anything, really, but the way Shizuo’s reacting does make you feel like there’s something he’s not telling you. Maybe he already had a girlfriend, or something…

“I’ve warned you he’s a monster, but you still won’t listen to me!”

Shizuo seems to be getting angrier by the second. That’s when you notice…his hand has dented the metal. Huh?

“I don’t think—” but Izaya interrupts you. There’s a new glint in his eye you haven’t seen before and are having trouble identifying. He always seemed to enjoy mocking you, but this feels different.

“Did you think that you could hide what a beast you are? Did you think a cute, oblivious barista would like you if she didn’t know? How pathetic,” he smirks.

“You know, I’m standing right here,” you mutter, but they’re too busy focusing on each other.

“Honestly, you have no brains at all, to think someone could want to be with a monster like you.”

“You done talking, dead man??” Shizuo picks up the fridge next to him and hurls it at Izaya, who ducks away with a laugh.

“OH MY GOD!” You instinctively cover your head as it smashes into the wall. “Wh-how?!”

“IZAYA!!!!” Izaya runs out of the room, and Shizuo chases him.

You follow them, and catch up in time to see Shizuo throw a speaker at Izaya, who dodges again. Everyone stares at them, including Masaomi who is on stage (mid-rap, you assume). The speaker crashes, and Izaya runs out the door with Shizuo behind him. Shinra runs up to you.

“What happened!”

“I…he…Shizuo threw a fridge!!!” You don’t really know how to explain. Shinra looks at you, confused.

“Yeah…he can do that. You didn’t know?”

You throw your hands up. “Is this common knowledge?”

Shinra shrugs. “Well, I thought it was.” He hands you a broom, and you sigh as you stare at the wreckage. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i don't think izaya will be using knives in this...that seems a little extreme for a coffeeshop au LOL. just to clarify so far the most part i've been writing as if the existing relationships of the drrr characters are what they are in canon, but a lighter version. so, for instance, izaya and shizuo already know and dislike each other but it's not AS intense/they aren't constantly trying to kill each other (i suppose this could be subject to change though? i'm just rolling with the punches here. *insert joke about izaya rolling with the punches*).


	6. Knife to a Gun Fight

Shinra had wisely tried to stagger your shifts with Izaya the following week, but neither one of you could work alone for long as there were so little staff, not to mention it was technically a safety hazard.

You had tried to confront Izaya about the fight, but when he provided his typical evasive answers, you had fallen into a frosty silent treatment. Well, at least on your end. It seemed nothing could shut him up. But as mad as you were at him for provoking Shizuo for whatever reason, there’s a part of you that’s also mad at him for undoing the progress you felt the two of you were making. You were by no means friends, but it had felt like the bickering had turned a little more into bantering at some point.

Tonight you were closing alone, though. You replay the fight in your mind as you clean the espresso machine. You still don’t really know what to make of it.

So, Shizuo was insanely strong. Everyone seemed to know about this, except you. And you were aware that he and Izaya knew each other, but you didn’t realize their dislike was THAT volatile. Why had it all been such a secret? But no one had actually lied, you note. Just no one had bothered to tell you until refrigerators were being thrown.

You knit your brows together. Where did that leave you, then? You contemplate, and think about how you haven’t heard from Shizuo since. You think about affogatos and avocados, and conclude all you really know is…you miss your regular. You turn off the machine and decide you’ve had enough waiting around.

**-**

The lights flash as the music blares, an entire mob of concert goers moving in rhythm as you try to push your way around. _Maybe this was a bad idea_ , you consider as you are nearly shoved into a mosh pit. You stick out like a sore thumb, too, with your lack of concert appropriate attire. Finally, you burst out of the crowd and onto the other side, where the crowd had thinned into more people milling around. Carefully avoiding the more sketchy attendees, you approach a sturdy-looking security guard by a speaker who eyes you with suspicion.

“HI,” you yell, trying to be heard. “IS SHIZUO WORKING TONIGHT?”

Even though you had given him your number, you had forgotten to get his, and he hadn’t texted you. _Maybe that was a sign he wasn’t interested_ , you think suddenly. But honestly, you were a little worried about him, too. Izaya had said such terrible things to him. And maybe you were overstepping now. But...what did you have to lose by checking in on him anyway?

“Heiwajima? Who’s asking?” He replies in a deep voice that naturally booms over the noise.

“I’M HIS…” Coffee barista? Girl he went on one sort of date with? Concerned citizen? “…FRIEND?” 

The bouncer looks you over for a moment then shrugs, pointing at door down the other end. “He might be out back. He usually takes a cigarette break around now.”

“THANKS!” After all that, were you really going to just find him in the very same alley that connected to the back of the coffeeshop? You start to maneuver your way down to the door, and you’re doing pretty well since you’re off to the side of the main crowd, but a stray mosher bounces out and hits you.

“Ouch!” You yelp as you stumble back, into the wall. The mosher pays no attention to you and rejoins the crowd. That’s when you realize your shoe is missing; he must’ve flat tired you. 

“Oh no…” god, you could step on anything in here! You glimpse at the many feet stamping around and shake your head. There is no way you’re finding it.

“Rough night, sweetheart?” A seedy man asks, and you jump. You hadn’t noticed he was next to you, leering at you. You shift uncomfortably. This isn’t a place you’d like to make friends. Or anything else.

“Ha ha…yeah!” You continue your way to the door, stepping carefully. It’s not that far away, but so far it’s been a troublesome journey. You’re about to walk out the door when out of your peripheral, you notice the guy is following you. Heart racing, you stop and turn around.

“Can I help you with something?” You snap.

“I think you can help me have a good time,” he drawls, continuing toward you, and you back up—into someone else. You look up.

“This guy bothering you?” Shizuo crushes his cigarette and stomps on it, glaring at the man. Before you can respond, the lowlife puts his hands up.

“What, I can’t even talk to a girl now? I just wanted a smile.”

You cringe. “You’re a creep!”

His face twists into a frown and he takes another step toward you. “Oh yeah, bitch?”

“What did you say, scumbag?? Huh??” Shizuo steps around you to grab him by the shirt.

“I called her a bitch!” He says defiantly, when he suddenly pulls out a switchblade and tries to slash at Shizuo.

“SHIZUO!” You scream, but he steps back and dodges it. He seems almost…unbothered. Actually…he’s kind of smiling, now.

“You have to know a move like that could kill a guy…” He grins. “So…whatever happens to you next, you can’t complain!” And with that, he easily punches the guy into oblivion. You watch, jaw dropped, as he flies over the crowd, while Shizuo turns back to you, smile fading in exchange for a look of confusion. You close your mouth and point to the door; you can talk outside a little easier. And with less harassment. He nods and follows you to the alley. Once outside, he pulls out another American Spirit.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, glancing down at you as he lights it. 

“I…was looking for you. I wanted to see…if you were okay…” you mumble. _Yeah, I wanted to check you were okay and now you were nearly stabbed because of me! I’m doing a great job!_ “And I did want…some real answers,” you admit.

Shizuo stares at you.

“You wanted to see if I was okay?” He repeats, with a note of disbelief.

“Yeah…well, I hadn’t heard from you…and you never came back…” This WAS a bad idea. This was so terribly awkward. He shakes his head.

“I destroyed the place. I thought…Didn’t think you’d want to see my face again,” He says gruffly.

You squint at him. Was that really why he had been avoiding you?

“Shizuo…” you begin, rubbing your temple. “Of course I want to see you again!”

He raises an eyebrow.

“Listen…I don’t know why Iza—why he picked a fight with you. I don’t understand how you’re so incredibly strong. But…” you take a deep breath. “I like you—I mean, I like being with you! I mean—” Oh god, did you just admit you had a crush on him?

“I _mean_ , I would just…like to get to know you better. Which would have to involve seeing your face again. You dummy.” You add, with an embarrassed smile. Yes, that will definitely cover up your accidental confession. “But disappearing without a word after all that…not cool.”

Shizuo takes a long drag as he considers what you’ve said.

“…Yeah, it wasn’t cool of me. Sorry about that.” 

“So, I’ll be expecting you for your usual mocha again? Actually…” you take out your phone and wave it to indicate your intention to get his full contact info. “I’ll text you when my charming co-worker is not around.”

“Yeah, okay.” Shizuo cracks a smile and tells you his number. “Hey…what happened to your shoe?”

“Oh…” you look down at your dog-patterned sock. “I lost it in the crowd. Tragically, gone forever I think. I don’t know though, I think it could be the start of a new fashion trend,” you laugh, and he chuckles. You smile back at him. No, this had been a very good idea after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get it bc shizuo has the guns *pow pow*


	7. Burning Questions

It’s your first full shift back with Izaya after the open mic night, and you are trying to maintain your silence. It’s not easy; somehow, his monologuing has increased and his music has worsened. You didn’t think it was possible. You suspect he’s trying to get you to break, and after several hours, you’re on the verge.

Finally, Izaya bumps you (very intentionally) as he steps by, causing you to slosh a cup of coffee on yourself.

“Really!” You say, annoyed. Izaya turns around.

“Oh? Do my ears deceive me? Did you just say something to me?” Izaya mockingly puts a hand up to his ear.

“Must you be so obnoxious?” You ask as you blot a paper towel on your apron.

He raises an eyebrow. “I’m very charming.”

You fight to suppress a laugh and stalk away in search of another one. When you return, you notice an odd noise coming from the espresso machine.

Grudgingly, you beckon Izaya over. “I think something’s wrong with it?” You try to tie your apron, but your fingers are not coordinating well behind your back.

“Did you break it?”

“I didn’t do anything!”

Izaya begins reach over to inspect it more closely when suddenly, hot steam explodes from the machine.

“AAA!” You both yell from the surprise, and you flick the machine off as quickly as you can get to the off switch in your panic. The steam subsides in a cloud. “What happened??”

“Over pressurized.” His voice is almost too even.

You forget your vow of irritation as you turn around and take in the damage. Izaya’s hands are covered in angry patches of red, and he inhales sharply from the pain.

“Oh no! Come here!” You turn to the sink, remembering to start with tepid water before gradually switching to cold. Izaya puts his hands under the water for momentary relief.

“I think Shinra keeps some medical supplies around…” You jostle through the cabinets.

You spot a blue kit and rifle through it, hoping it has what you need. Yes, it does. Maybe Shinra is a better med student than he is a singer-song writer. For the sake of his future patients, you hope so anyway.

You open up the kit and place it on the counter as Izaya withdraws his hands from the sink. His expression is a crafted neutral, but it must hurt; the skin still looks raw, and he’s actually being quiet for once.

“Let me see,” you say, and reach over. Izaya pulls away, though.

“What’s wrong with you? Let me see it,” you demand.

“Pushy,” Izaya mutters and reluctantly holds his hands out. “What do you know, anyway?”

“Enough,” you respond as you carefully examine. Looks like first-degree burns; you were worried it was even worse for a moment. But the main trouble is the burns are so fresh, and both hands are enveloped in them, as they were directly in front of the steamer. The marks are stark on his typically pale skin.

“Okay. You probably want to get it checked out anyway, but it seems minor…”

“Easy for you to say,” Izaya says coolly, and starts to pull his hands away again. You glare at him.

“Would you just let me help? You can’t do it by yourself right now!”

Izaya gives you a complicated look and stops. He must realize you’re actually right; it would be too hard treat the burns himself since they encompass both hands. 

“ _Thank you_. ” You say with exasperation. “Alright then…” You turn back to the kit and pull out the aloe vera that had been fortunately stored with the rest of the supplies.

You gently apply some over the worst of the burns as he watches you intently. You try to not think about his calculating gaze as you ignore the hair that falls over your face when you lean over. His hands are tense, but you can’t tell if it’s because of the pain or because he’s acting so weird. You tuck your hair back as you take out some clean gauzes and start wrapping his right hand.

“He _is_ dangerous,” Izaya says, suddenly.

“What?” You ask, before the “he” Izaya must be referencing registers. “Oh.” Maybe he’ll leave it there. Maybe he’ll get his two cents in and be done.

But since it’s Izaya, of course he continues. 

“A little jab made him so angry that he tried to kill me. Does annoyance warrant a murder attempt?” Izaya pauses. “Wait. Don’t answer that.”

You bite back another laugh. You quietly move onto his left hand as you contemplate his words.

You hate that he has a point.

On one hand, Izaya had been harsher than a little jab and certainly picked a fight. But that kind of rage in response…you frown.

“…Do my ears deceive me? Did you just admit you were annoying?” You say, instead.

“Of course not. And don’t avoid the point,” Izaya replies. “You know I’m right.”

Valid or not, it was strange to hear from Izaya. It almost sounded like it could be concern, coming from anyone else. You finish wrapping his other hand. Now they’re both covered in bandages. You look up at him, trying to figure him out.

 _“Is it too hard to believe I wanted to check on the safety of my co-worker?”_ You remember him saying. It _was_ too hard, right? He always had an agenda, even if it was just about bothering you. Or bothering someone else. Really, he seemed to expend a lot of energy bothering people for whatever reason.

“…Since when do you care, Izaya?” This is the real question that you didn’t realize you had wanted to ask all along.

There’s a slightly too long pause. 

“I don’t.” Now he yanks his hands away. “You’re being stupid. Someone has to you let you know.” His smile is distant. “Lucky me.”

You press you mouth into a line and snap the first aid kit shut. “Guess I can always count on _you_ for that. You’re welcome, by the way. Don’t let those get infected.”

“I didn’t ask you to do this,” he says, and you’re sick of all the whiplash.

“God, Izaya! You shouldn’t have to ask! It is a normal human reaction to care!” You snap.

He stares at you for a moment, totally unreadable. Then he opens his mouth to say something back—

Someone dings at the register, breaking the tension. “Can I get a coffee here, or what?”

You glance down at his hands. “You better go home. I’ll tell Shinra,” you say before going to help the customer.

You try not to watch out of the corner of your eye and focus on taking the order as he puts on his coat at an agonizing pace. You quell the same instinct as before that it would be easier if you just help him. _He’s an asshole,_ you remind yourself. _He doesn’t care. I shouldn’t either. In fact, I DON’T care._ You aggressively pump coffee into a cup.

You hear the door jangle open and shut and have a sinking feeling, anyway. What was that you said about human reactions?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert joke about this being a slow burn*


	8. A Shoe and a Bet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pleeease check the end notes!

It’s a rainy day at the coffeeshop, and the boredom is eating away at you. You’re all by yourself, and save for a few regulars loitered about the place, content to refill their coffee at their leisure, you have nothing to do. You’ve already swept, mopped, and refreshed the pots. You look out the window at the gloomy fall day. It’s the kind of shower that’s heavier than a drizzle, but also not quite heavy enough to be considered normal raining. You never know what to call this kind of storm. All you know is you’re going to need an umbrella if it keeps up.

And you’re bored. Booored. Is the clock moving slower? You sit on the stool at the counter and start swinging your legs, like a petulant child as you try to ignore the glaring absence of the most frustrating person you’ve ever worked with. The most annoying. The most…you frown. You’re not doing a great job ignoring him, huh? Even when he’s not even here. You’re doing such a bad job, actually, you don’t register Shizuo walking up to the counter at first. When you do notice, you nearly fall off the stool, shaken out of your thoughts.

“Shizuo!! Hi!” Your heart races a little, but you can’t tell if it’s because of that crush you…admittedly hold, or if it’s because you’re thinking about Izaya. What Izaya said, you mean. 

He holds a shoe up.

“Whatcha…got there?” You ask, very confused. He frowns.

“It’s not yours?”

“No…”

“Oh. I thought it might have been.” He drops it in the trash can instead. You slowly remember your shoe that was lost somewhere in the bowels of the concert venue.

“Oh!” Bummer for whoever’s shoe that actually was. “Oh, I mean it does look similar. My boot has a little tassel on it though,” You pause. He really brought one shoe all the way over here for that? “…Well, that’s really nice of you to keep an eye out for it anyway!”

“Um, yeah. Sure. I had to clear this out and I thought of you. Your sock. The uh, fashion trend, right?” He raises an eyebrow.

Was he teasing you? You can’t help but smile.

“Yeah, you know, being such an influencer isn’t as easy as it looks. Beauty is pain,” you feign a swoon with your hand over your face and laugh.

He chuckles a little, then pulls out another shoe from apparently nowhere. “Hm…what about this one?”

“Sandals in November? Very last season, Shizuo!”

“Oh yeah. You’re a real expert,” he then tosses that one too. You peer over the counter and now see that he has a large box of miscellaneous items labeled “lost and found.” Oh. That’s what he meant by “this.”

Hilarious that a seedy place like that even had an operational lost and found. You can’t believe Shizuo was taking the time to comb through it…for what? Your single missing boot? It was ridiculous, but oddly thoughtful. Now his eyebrows scrunched as he looked inside the box again. It was in vain, but…really cute.

 _He is dangerous._ Izaya’s words suddenly pop into your head again, along with the memory of how destructive Shizuo got during the open mic. Ugh! Could you never escape Izaya? Yet now you also think about how you had been scared of that creep at the concert…and you were grateful Shizuo had been there. Altogether, you still didn’t know what to make of things, and it didn’t really seem like a moment of epiphany was about to strike. Izaya calling you stupid didn’t count, either.

Regardless, it was hard to consider Shizuo as a menace to society as he studies a strange little cat statue from the box, baffled. You sigh a little and give in.

“Hm, pretty weird.” You lean over to look at the statue too. “Hey, why don’t we look through together?” You point to some free couches.

Shizuo places the statue on the counter and nods. He carries the box over in the direction you indicated as you whip up a couple drinks for yourselves.

You plop down on the same old couch and hand him a mug.

“Thanks,” he says accepting it, and takes a careful sip. “Hm, hot chocolate?”

“I figured, you really can’t go wrong. Especially on a day like today,” you take a sip as well and eye the box thoughtfully. Who knows what you’d find in there.

“Wait—I have an idea!” You say with excitement.

“Huh?”

“Let’s make a bet: Whoever gets the most weird things, or my shoe, wins. But we can’t look inside the box,” you give him a playful smile.

“What does the winner get?” He asks. You shrug.

“To be decided, I guess. I’ll have to think about it when I beat you!”

“Hmm…I wouldn’t get too cocky,” He replies. “You’re going down,” and he grabs a vintage bottle opener shaped like a face to demonstrate.

“Okay, yeah, that’s disturbing though,” you laugh and withdraw a generic concert t-shirt. “Agh! Lame,” you complain. But Shizuo only retrieves a phone charger next.

“I wonder if it still works…” you muse and pull out a massive cowboy boot embroidered to look like the jaws of a shark. “Is it bad that there’s a part of me that wants this?”

“Definitely,” Shizuo shakes his head. Next, he takes a pair of fearfully 1980’s era sunglasses.

“Oh, I think you found your new look. Better save those,” you laugh and pull out a hat that says, “women want me, fish fear me,” and laugh harder.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I don’t knooow,” you gasp and point for him to go. He then pulls out a lacy bra and promptly drops it like it was burning hot. You cover your mouth with your hand as you try to control your laughing and clear your throat.

“Looks like someone had a good night,” you remark. “Sadly, not very weird for a concert venue’s lost and found. You’re falling behind, rookie,” you pat his arm with mock reassurance. _Hmm…those are some muscles he’s got,_ you can’t help but notice.

He raises an eyebrow and you quickly turn back to the box hoping he didn’t pick up on that. And that you’re not red.

“Um, check it out!” You wave a flask that’s shaped like an apple. Smooth.

Soon the two of you are surrounded by junk. This might be the first time you’ve seen him actually relax…and it’s really nice.

“Shizuo, looks like we’re reaching the end here…it was a good game, but I have completely crushed you,” you wave to your side of weird objects. “I understand how much it must hurt to lose,” you tease.

“Yeah…me too,” he says as he reveals his final item: your shoe! The deus ex machina itself!

“Oh my god! You really found it!” You lean to grab it but he pulls it up and away. “Hey!”

“Hey, you gotta admit I win first.”

You lean further, trying to reach it. “Let’s call it a tie!”

“That’s not what you said earlier,” Shizuo points out, kind of laughing at your futile efforts. He’s holding it well out of your grasp.

“Oh, fine!” You concede, but your balance is too tilted at this point so you end up falling over across him. You both stare at each other for a moment before you burst out with a stammered “uh, sorry!” and pull yourself back.

“Alright Shizuo, you win,” you brush back your hair a little nervously, now. “So…what do you want?”

He’s quiet again.

He looks at you a moment longer before glancing away.

He puts your shoe down now.

“I want…” he begins, very hesitantly. “…I want to make you a drink.” He turns back to you now.

A drink? You weren’t expecting that. You notice the empty mugs. “Oh? Well, yeah I suppose I could show you how to use the espresso machine, if you that’s what you want.”

“Huh? What? Oh. No. I mean-I meant…” He shifts a little. “You could come by the, uh. We have a bar on the second floor,” he explains awkwardly.

“Oh! Oh…”

“You don’t have to,” he says, getting up before you can answer. You know you’re at least pink now. You can’t believe he really just asked you that.

“Wait, Shizuo, hold on—” You put your hand on his arm again, this time to stop him. “Um…” You pause. “…I’d really like that.”

You exchange small, soft smiles.

“Hey! Didn’t I ban you?” Shinra’s voice suddenly interrupts, and you both jump. “What is all this stuff?”

“Shinra!!! You didn’t say you were coming in today!” You stand up. “And um, no, not technically because you said the policy paperwork was too much of a hassle,” you remind him.

“Oh. Well, I wanted to make sure things were running smoothly since you’re working by yourself today. Clearly…things seem just fine,” he looks between you and Shizuo.

“Shizuo was just…returning something to me!” You point at your shoe. Shinra’s eyebrows practically shoot off of his face.

“He’s returning your _clothes?_ ” You realize what he could be insinuating. 

“Wh-what, no! He just-I just lost—” You sputter while Shizuo sweeps the remaining lost and found items back into the box.

“I gotta go,” he says, putting an end to your stammering to Shinra. “But uh…I’ll see you.”

“Oh—okay. Yeah! See you soon!” You respond, perhaps a little overzealously; Shinra’s unexpected appearance has really thrown you for a loop. Shizuo gives you one last meaningful look before he heads out.

“Bye Shizuo!” Shinra waves. “Well, at least he didn’t destroy things! So, you two are dating?”

“Shinra!!! I don’t—please don’t ask!” You say with exasperation.

“Alright then. Well, I also came with some great news!”

Uh oh. “Great news” usually means “Shinra has come up with an idea that will be an intensive amount of work for you.”

“We will be…having a stand at the Christmas Market this year!!! Oh, it’s going to be great! You and Izaya will have to figure out how to build it though, of course…” He starts to babble on about his plans, but you distractedly watch Shizuo walk down the street through the window, thinking about that drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello! SO...
> 
> who should reader end up with? please let me know what you think in the comments! 
> 
> it turns out my monkey brain can't be trusted to make a decision on here and may accidentally make this about shinra's secret unrequited love for you if i don't get some input LOL


	9. The Old-Fashioned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all your feedback!!!! i really really love and appreciate hearing what you have to say! but all i can say now is, whatever happens next, it ain't gonna be an easy time 👀  
> hopefully a little distraction for yall as i have a prolonged meltdown about the election *dances stressfully*

“Would you get off your phone?” You pester Izaya as you try and fail to put up the garland by yourself around the edges of the window. You’re both out here decorating the coffee stand before the Christmas market opens; that way you won’t have to do it all in one go. Except Izaya was hardly being helpful; in a weird way, that was slightly comforting consistency since the espresso machine incident. And following argument. Things had been kind of weird ever since. But you still weren’t even sure exactly what had happened.

You give up and check your phone too, and smile as soon as you do. Shizuo had texted you back about that drink…you text back him back, confirming your plans.

Suddenly, you feel Izaya knock into you and you practically fall out of the window.

“Seriously?” You snap as you teeter back inside.

“Oh, you really should be more careful!” Izaya replies with a smirk. “These close quarters do make it so hard to move around!”

You have the intense urge to smack the smile off of his face, but something about his expression makes you think it would make him happy if you tried. You suspect he’s trying to get a rise out of you; you haven’t exactly been chatty with him. And now you were completely ignoring him about Shizuo, but hopefully he didn’t know that.

“What are you so happy about, hmm?” He asks with intrigue.

“None of your business, Izaya,” you reply coolly, and he frowns briefly. 

_He only wants to cause trouble. He clearly only cares about himself…he said as much, anyway. Don’t bother with him._ But even as you’ve tried to deny it...the whole thing has upset you. Anger has given way to an acute frustration. You just can’t figure it…him…out. It’s like every time you had on the verge of getting along (dare you say it, but even like him), he just had to be a jerk. And you were having trouble seeing what the point in trying anymore was.

“Oh, wow! I’m just trying to have a friendly conversation. Really, you've been so cold!” he says, and you scoff with skepticism. No way were you going to finish decorating today at this rate, and no way you were sharing your plans. 

“Not exactly in the mood. I’m going home. I’ll take out the trash,” you announce, eager to get out of an enclosed space with Izaya.

“Hm…” He surveys the outside mockingly. “I don’t see Shizu-chan anywhere, so what will you be taking?”

“Aw, sorry Izaya! I don’t think I can carry you,” you shoot back as you tie up the garbage bag.

“I did miss your lovely commentary while I was gone,” Izaya smiles and waves at you as you walk away. “See you around!”

–

You gaze over the edge of the balcony at the crowd dancing in the flashing lights below in the frenzy of the concert. It was so much more calm up here, but strange to observe the chaos from such a detached vantage point. Shaped like a U, the second floor wrapped around the edges of the building and opened up to overlook the first. In the back, there was the bar Shizuo had told you about. You nervously tug at your black dress. You hadn’t been sure what to wear, exactly, but you decided that this was a universally safe bet. You glance at the time; you were a tad early, so you guessed maybe his shift hadn’t ended yet.

You were so nervous. This wasn’t anything like goofing around the coffeeshop, hoping he’d walk in. Yeah, you had been together at the open mic night…but look how that had ended. The memory didn’t exactly calm you. At least Izaya wasn’t around. But anyway, this was like… a real date. Your heart fluttered at the thought. No mochas to hide behind this time. You gripped the railing with one last survey over the crowd before turning to the bar.

It was surprisingly nicer than the seedy venue below; it looked a little old fashioned, with dark wood edges, warm lighting, leather booths, and a few oddities scattered about. Small circular tables with centered lamps dotted the floor, save for an open space for the more brave (the more drunk) who felt like dancing to the music that rose up from below.

You hop up a seat at the bar, glancing at the rows of colorful bottles neatly shelved from behind, and kicked your feet a little as they dangled. You were also wearing the once separated pair of boots Shizuo had returned. You just felt like they had led you to this moment. Maybe it was cheesy, but it also felt a little…full circle. You felt a tap on your shoulder, and turn around.

Shizuo stood with one hand in his pocket, looking handsome as ever with his tousled blond hair and tall, muscled stature.

“Shizuo, you made it!”

“Yeah, sorry I’m late. Things are a little crazier down there tonight…” he frowns. “Bunch of scumbags.”

“Oh, it’s okay, I figured it was something like that.”

“Anyway, uh…” He looks down at you, as he pockets a loose cigarette.

You feel self-conscious, and smooth out your dress. “Hope I’m not overdressed, I didn’t know…”

“Huh? Are you kidding?” He asks, and leans against the bar. “You look great.”

“Oh! Thanks...you clean up pretty well yourself, Heiwajima,” you smile shyly, and tap the dark wood with your fingers. “So, what’s on the menu?”

“Oh, that's coming right up.” He points to the end of the bar, where the entrance behind it is. You nod and wait as he makes his way around.

“You look pretty comfortable back there,” you note, as Shizuo stands across from you and starts grabbing a few bottles. You’re not sure what to expect; you actually don’t know much about cocktails. Coffee is your area of specialty drinks, and generally, you have a tendency to just pick whatever’s on tap in terms of alcoholic beverages.

“Yeah, I used to be a bartender here,” he says.

“Oh, so that’s why you picked this!” You had been wondering, since it had been such a specific choice. “By the way, my shoes had a great reunion. Tears were shed, champagne popped. A really beautiful moment,” you joke, and he chuckles as he mixes the drink.

“So, you’re not a bartender anymore though? You’re a bouncer now?” You ask.

“Turns out I didn’t have the…temperament to be a bartender,” he huffs. You kind of sense there’s a story there; maybe you’ll ask another time. “But they let me back here sometimes anyway.”

“That’s cool of them,” you observe, and he nods in agreement. He places the glass in front of you.

“It’s nice to have you make me a drink for a change!” You grin. “What is it?”

“Can’t really go wrong with an old-fashioned,” he says, and you hold it up. The hue was almost like honey with reddening edges. A lemon and an orange rind curl in the liquid around a large ice cube, and a maraschino cherry was plopped in.

“Hm…” you pause, and consider for a moment. Shizuo watches you carefully.

“To lost and founds,” you toast. “May we always find what we’re looking for.” You laugh. “Sorry, that’s probably too cheesy!”

“Nah. I like it,” he looks at you softly. You lean across the bar and mimic clinking a glass. You like how at ease he seems. You take a sip, and it tastes smooth and silky but surprisingly sweeter than you expected.

“Oh, that’s really good!” You praise. “So, what exactly makes an old-fashioned?”

“Well, old-fashioneds can be weird. Depends a little on who’s making them. But it’s whiskey, bitters, and sugar.”

“So, the cherry is a special Shizuo touch?” You ask, nabbing its stem and fishing it out. 

“Some people add it, yeah,” he concedes, but seems pleased you happened to identify that.

“Ever the sweet tooth,” you point at him. “This is a bit stronger than an affogato, though,” you say as you take another drink and then eat the cherry. “Hey! Can you show me how to make one?”

“An old-fashioned?” Shizuo glances around. While there were plenty of other people sitting in the area, there was no particular rush for drinks at the bar. Besides, there were a couple of other actual bartenders to take care of things.

“Sure, why not. Hop over,” he says.

“Ooh, really! Okay!” You reply eagerly. It was slightly silly but you always felt like being behind the counter was an coveted spot and you liked it whenever you were allowed to go back there. Even at the coffee shop, you still got that feeling. “Uh…can I just…” you gesture sliding over the bar.

“Yeah, it’s no big deal,” he smiles at your excitement. You tentatively hoist yourself up from the stool and start to shift yourself over, but once you’re halfway there, Shizuo suddenly and effortlessly picks you up and puts you down on the other side.

“Ah ha! Shizuo!” You laugh nervously.

“Oh, sorry. I just thought it would be easier,” he says.

“Oh, no, don’t be sorry! Just give me a little warning next time,” you look up at him, tentatively. He hasn’t let go of you yet. 

“Oh, yeah. Okay,” he says awkwardly and pulls himself away, and turns back to the bar. You peer up at it next to him.

“So…” he grabs a short glass and drops a sugar cube in it. “You gotta muddle the sugar…you can use simple syrup too, but,” he shrugs, and slips it down to you. “Might as well show you the usual way.” He takes out a small bottle labeled Angostura. “This is the bitters,” he soaks the sugar, and then hands you a…stick?

“Use that to crush the sugar,” he instructs.

“Like this?” You ask as you oblige. He nods as he measures the whiskey, and then you stop muddling.

“Uh huh,” he adds the bourbon. “And then…mix,” he hands you a spoon. “Everyone does it kinda different,” he says, and plops in the ice. You keep stirring it as he peels.

“Really? That’s cool. It says something about who made it, then.”

“Yeah, I guess it does,” he nods. “Alright, that’s good. Then you have to…‘express the oils,’ or whatever they say,” he hands you the lemon and orange peels.

“Hm…I have no idea what that means,” you hold them over the glass.

“You have to…uh, let me just…” he puts an arm around you and adjusts what you’re doing to squeeze the peel a little. You smell the citrus, and look over at him, so close. “Yeah, then just drop it in. There you go.”

“Just one more thing, then!” You look around for the cherries, and see a container right beneath the counter. You add it. “And there we go!”

Shizuo nods approvingly. You try it and it’s good again, though admittedly he did pretty much everything. You smile at him before fidgeting with the fountain gun. You kind of want a water, too…

“Hold on, that one doesn’t always w—” he begins, but it’s too late; the water unexpectedly spurts out and hits him, and it’s not turning off.

“Oh my god, sorry Shizuo!” But you can’t help but giggle as the water continues to spray. “Ah!” You move to step out the line of fire, but Shizuo pulls you back around your waist.

“Ohh, you’re not getting out this that easy,” he says with a grin as you both get hit now.

“Noo!” You laugh and twist but his hands are steadfast around you. He finally manages to reach a separate valve to turn the water off, and you both slowly ease your laughter as you look at each other. A little water drips off of his blond hair, and you reach out and touch it.

“Hey, Heiwajima! Careful over there!” The other bartender calls. Shizuo straightens up.

“Yeah, we got it,” he replies, wiping down the counter. “I think we uh, got some towels in the back,” he says to you.

“Mm, okay,” you said, still recovering from your amusement, and you tuck your hand in his. “Let’s go.”

Shizuo raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t comment and instead leads you down and away from the bar to the back. There, he looks up at the shelves where he locates one white towel. He hands you the small cloth and you let go of his hand to accept. You towel dry your hair a bit with a shake and then turn to him.

“Hm, let me,” you offer.

“Huh?”

You reach up and ruffle his hair with the towel and then lower your arms. He looked a little scruffier with his unkempt hair; somehow, adorably disgruntled. You laugh.

“What?”

“You just look…" You shake your head and take a deep breath. "You know, I’m really glad you asked me to do this,” you smile at him. “You, uh…” you put down the towel on a nearby chair. “I always hope you’ll walk into the coffeeshop. I’ve had…a crush on my favorite customer for a while,” you let out an embarrassed little laugh.

He stares at you, and then looks at you with a sudden impatience; maybe you shouldn’t have confessed—but then, he draws you close to him. You look up at him, wide-eyed.

“I’ve…been wanting to ask. I just didn’t…” he murmurs, and trails off before looking at you directly. “And...I’ve wanted to do this.”

He tucks a loose strand of your hair back before gently but firmly clasping your face, and kisses you with a controlled ferocity. You press your lips into his after your initial surprise, and throw your arms around his neck. He smelled faintly of smoke, pine, and the citrus from the drink. The kiss deepens and you lean back from the intensity, lacing your fingers in his hair; he holds you tighter. Nothing else exists except this, until—

“Heiwajima! Oh—sorry—”

You break apart unwillingly, and turn your head to see another bouncer you recognize.

“Are you fucking serious? What?” Shizuo growls, still holding you.

The bouncer looks defeated in his misfortune of being the one to interrupt Shizuo. “There’s trouble out front. We need backup. I wouldn’t have asked, but…” But Shizuo was the strongest. He closes his eyes angrily before looking back at you.

“I’ll be back, okay? I’m sorry,” he says, and you pat his arm. You weren’t exactly pleased about being disturbed, either.

“Yeah, of course. I understand. I’ll be here,” you reply, and he grudgingly lets you go.

You sigh as you watch him leave, a little disappointed at the interruption but also, overwhelmingly happy. Shizuo kissed you! You smile to yourself and walk back to the bar in a daze. Well, guess you could polish off that old fashioned while you waited. But…where was it?

That’s when you notice someone sitting where you were before.

A certain raven-haired nuisance.

“Is there a commotion outside?” Izaya peers over the glass as he takes a sip of your drink. “What unfortunate timing! But don’t you look stunning—quite a step up from the apron. Something happen to your hair, though?” His eyes glitter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "generally, you have a tendency to just pick whatever’s on tap in terms of alcoholic beverages" yeah so, i'm cheap and i have no idea what i'm talking about LOL, i did try to do some research so apologies if you are a connoisseur of cocktails and thanks for bearing with me


	10. The Manhattan

“Iz-Izaya!” You gasp. “What are you doing here!” His eyes gleamed as a smile unfurled across his face.

“Oh, you know, I heard that the cocktails are to die for. But I have to say, they are tragically overrated. Too sweet,” he puts down the old-fashioned and looks you over with a smile. “I think you might prefer something with a little more bite.”

You stare at him. Was he…flirting? What was happening?

“O-okay. You—I mean—” you can’t even form a full sentence. Izaya tilts his head expectantly.

“Well, while you figure that out…” he waves at a remaining bartender and orders more drinks as you sputter.

“Are you—is this a joke?” You finally burst out. Izaya laughs.

“Oh, not at all! I’m completely serious. Consider this an olive branch. I think it’s time our Cold War ends,” he puts his hands up in surrender; it’s almost endearing, except for the fact you don’t believe him, and Shizuo was going to return and things would start flying. You look over your shoulder at the thought.

“Shizu-chan is going to be preoccupied for a little while longer,” he smirks, and you glare at him.

“Some olive branch! Did you come here to mess with Shizuo, then?” You demand. The drinks appear on the counter, and Izaya scoffs.

“Oh, not exactly,” he says, tracing the edge of a glass. “That’s more of a bonus.”

“Izaya! What did you do!”

“Please, this isn’t about him. Calm down. Anyway, I had to return this.” He slides your phone onto the counter.

“ _You took my phone?”_ You seize it; you had been wondering where it had gone. Who knows what else he saw on that. Clearly your texts with Shizuo, for one thing.

“Oh, I would never!” He says, acting offended but smiling all the same. “You must’ve dropped it. So clumsy sometimes, really.”

“When you pushed me—” you take a deep breath. “Izaya, It’s one thing to harass me at work, it’s another thing to go out of your way to do so!”

You’re so caught off guard you don’t know what to make of him. He obviously planned this, but you don’t know why or what “this,” even is. You stand up to look for Shizuo, but he grabs your wrist and stops you.

“ _Harass_ you? I think that’s overstating things. Besides, I’m the one who has the marks from your handiwork.” You look down at a remaining burn on his hand. “Not to mention, you’ve got quite the kick.” He lets go.

“ _My handiw—”_ How did you keep getting blamed for the espresso machine incident! Even Shinra had said something to you! All you did was point out something was wrong with it! You did admittedly kick him (a few times), but come on!

“Anyway, since when is buying you a drink considered harassment? Doesn’t seem to apply to Shizu-chan,” he notes, and hands you a stemmed glass. “Can’t you just relax for once?” 

“I can relax!” You snap, contradictorily.

“Hmm…then prove it. Enjoy this drink with me,” he challenges you.

You look at him with a mixture of calculation and irritation, feeling a little damned if you do, damned if you don’t. You’re concerned about Shizuo, but hopefully he can handle whatever’s been thrown at him…besides, if he comes back and finds Izaya, he’ll definitely be furious and you would really love salvage the night, if possible. And what if Izaya just followed you if went to look for him? They could start a riot for all you knew.

“Okay. Fine, if I have this drink with you, will you leave?” You sit back down. Maybe he could be satisfied and get out of here, and an entire crisis could be averted.

Izaya frowns. “Not exactly the enthusiasm I was looking for…” he clinks your glass, with a dramatic sigh. “But I’ll take what I can get.” 

“Alright…well, tear down this wall,” you say sarcastically. Izaya smiles appreciatively, and you both try it. As the drink hits the back of your throat, you can’t help but pucker a little from the more bitter taste, though the flavors do blend together pleasantly in the end. It tasted spicier than the old-fashioned, but not completely unsweet, and also had a cherry garish.

“What is it?”

“It’s a Manhattan,” he says with that classic lilt. “Do you like it?”

“Not really,” you reply shortly. You do like it. Izaya drums his fingers across the bar, somewhat impatiently.

“No need to be so stubborn! Remember, I said _enjoy_ ,” he emphasizes.

“Maybe I’d enjoy this more if you explained yourself,” you remark.

“Not paying wonderful attention, are we? I told you earlier. I miss your lovely commentary,” he says, dripping with mockery. You entertain it nonetheless; what more can you do?

“We see each other all the time, Izaya. Plenty of opportunity for that.”

“True, but you’ve made it so difficult lately with that cold shoulder!” His word choice makes you well aware of your sleeveless dress, and you shift in your seat. “Doesn’t exactly make for the best repartee.”

“Well then, you know, there’s a much easier way than this to solve that problem,” you roll your eyes. “You could’ve…I don’t know…apologized? Just a shot in the dark here!”

“Apologize for what? You’re the one who yelled in my face after I was only being helpful,” he counters, and you let out a sigh of exasperation. He goes on before you can explain in detail how he was being a jerk.

“Regardless…this is so much more fun,” he grins, and leans toward you, making you acutely nervous. You take another sip as an excuse to turn away from him. He was having way too good of a time.

“You can’t just tell me to stay away from Shizuo because you don’t like him. Especially since you…apparently don’t care,” you say flatly and turn back to him. Now he looked annoyed at the mention of Shizuo.

“Ugh. You know what your problem is? For _some_ reason, you got it in your head Shizu-chan is good, and I’m bad, don’t you?”

“Gee, I wonder how that happened. But I wouldn’t put it that w—”

“You’re wrong, of course. People aren’t good or bad. They’re either charming or tedious,” he replies smoothly, and you laugh out loud when you recognize his words.

“Ah, how very like you to throw a quote at me already. Is that your motto, then? 

“Oh, I just happen to appreciate such pearls of wisdom,” he smiles, and you smirk as you take another drink. Of course he did.

“And you don’t find one little coffee shop barista boring? Or, an idiot as you often say?” You raise your eyebrow.

“Idiocy and charm aren’t mutually exclusive.”

“Ha, well better be careful with all that charm, Izaya. A girl won’t know what to do.” You cock your head to the side as you look at him. “Hmm…good or bad. Charming or tedious. Or an idiot. Do you know what I think?” You take a sip. “‘The truth is rarely pure and never simple.’”

You take another sip as you find his look of surprise immensely satisfying. He wasn’t the only one who could throw a quote. He laughs.

“Not bad. But, do my ears deceive me? Did you just admit I’m charming?”

“Of course not!” You smile a little as you echo the old conversation. You glance around to observe the other patrons of the bar. “So, you really think you can divide everyone here with no between?” You muse. “Hm…” you discreetly point at a man in a suit drinking alone. “Do you think he’s boring?”

Izaya cranes his neck in your direction to get a better look, and you push him back for being so intentionally obvious. “So judgmental!”

“I didn’t say he was! I asked _you_ what you thought.”

Izaya shrugs. “Probably, but not necessarily. You really should always keep in mind that human unpredictability. Anything can change.” He takes a sip and watches you, not the designated subject, which gives you the feeling he’s not just talking about that man. You drink as you try to think of something to say.

Fortunately for you, a woman suddenly joins the man in the suit, and he pulls out a small bag.

“Hmm...A mundane business deal? A clandestine affair? Will we ever know?” Izaya ponders and twirls the cherry in his glass. You observe the pair as you drink.

She eventually slaps him and storms away, but with the bag.

“Ooh! Maybe the latter then. Too bad we have a MacGuffin now,” you frown.

Izaya rolls his eyes. “It’s _clearly_ money.”

You poke him. “Hey, Prince Charming, we may have stumbled on a sinister blackmail plot; there could be a severed ear in there for all we know!”

“ _Prince Charming?_ Do not call me that, _”_ he says miffed, which you enjoy. You clap your hands; you finally had something to annoy him with. 

“Oh, you don’t like that, Izaya? This would really be a beautiful day for me, but alas, we have devious scheme to contend with!” You smirk in an appeal to his inability to not make fun. 

“How dark!” Yet the man start singing along terribly and drunkenly in the booth, and now your “people watching” has turned into openly staring. “Something in me is doubtful, though.”

“…Hard to argue with that.” You try not to snicker. “Peace for now, in the kingdom.”

“As long as you manage to hang onto your shoe,” Izaya replies, catching you off guard again. He could just be continuing the reference but you can’t help but wonder if he knows about the whole lost-and-found thing. You shake off your concern; it’s not like it’s a secret, anyway.

At any rate, you’re close enough to finishing the drink off now to polish it off with some effort, which you do.

Izaya makes a noise of displeasure. “You’re not supposed to _down_ it!”

“I did not!” You protest, waving the empty glass. “Well. This has been _interesting_ , Izaya but, time to split.” His eyebrows furrow as a mental wheel turns before smiling again.

“I don’t believe the clock has struck midnight yet…anyway, did I agree to that?” He raises his eyebrows. “I don’t believe I did, actually…if I remember right…”

“Izaya…seriously—”

“I think I said I’ll take what I can get,” and he stands up. You barely have time to put the glass down before he’s dragging you over to the dance floor, interlocking one hand with yours and firmly placing the other around you.

“What? You don’t like to dance? I saw you were sadly partner-less at the open mic night,” he asks with mocking innocence.

“I wasn’t—and I do like to, but…” you don’t want to admit you’re buzzed (it probably didn’t help that you did, in fact, down the drink), so you trail off. And also…he’s surprisingly good; he’s leading you effortlessly, and while you won’t say it, it’s actually really fun dancing with someone who knows what they’re doing. Thankfully, it wasn’t a punk show tonight like the last time you were here; that would’ve been a bit more difficult, to put it mildly.

“And where’d you learn to move like this?” You ask as you quickly weave through the other people scattered around.

“I think you’d be surprised to learn what else I can do,” he replies evasively.

“Oh, at this point, I seriously doubt that.”

“Just don’t step on my feet! I happen to like these shoes.” You promptly tread on him, and he shakes his head, but you’re both laughing a little.

“Sorry, you know how _clumsy_ I can be,” you tease.

“You’re lucky I’m willing to put up with a hazard like you,” he says dramatically. “No wonder no one would dance with you.”

You lightly smack his arm. “That’s not what happened! I’m a delight!”

“Of course you are,” he sends you spinning. You clutch him at the next particularly quick turn and laugh.

“Oh really, you need to keep up!” Still, he seems to be enjoying himself too, and everything else seems to fall away for a little while. After what feels like a couple songs or so, your eyes widen as you recognize the next one.

“Oh my god,” you say, excitedly. “Do you hear that?” You listen carefully to make sure, and then laugh when you are. “They’re playing our song!”

“Hmm?”

“ _Anyway…_ ”

He breaks into a grin. The band below was playing a cover of Wonderwall, sending the two of you into a small fit of laughter as you revolve on a spot.

“Ha ha ha! I can’t believe this. We can’t escape it,” you smile up at him as you rotate, and he looks at you with lingering amusement.

You listen thoughtfully. “You know…it’s not actually a bad song.”

“Oh, please. Basic, overplayed, and nonsensical.” But he’s lacking his usual edge.

“I don’t know…it can be kind of nice,” you murmur, and look at him. You never really noticed…how handsome he is. You were always too distracted by whatever way he was annoying you, but his sharp features, intense eyes, and dark hair came together in a way that was undeniably attractive. You’re very aware of his hand on the small of your back and how close you are as you notice he still smells like coffee.

You clear your throat. “Uh, still hilarious though. Twenty bucks says I can get Shinra to play it at the next open mic.”

“No dice, you con artist. Who do you take me for? He’s already learned all four chords involved.” 

“Boo, you’re no fun,” you accuse him.

“No fun? How dare you,” he replies, going so far as to dip you.

“Ah! Izaya!” You giggle and loop your arms around his neck for better balance as you lean back. You look up at him, there’s a pause as you stare at each other. “Izaya…”

“Yes?” He suddenly looks more boyish than you’ve ever seen him as you look at each other.

You’re still keenly aware of his hands holding you as you exhale and close your eyes. “I…” Suddenly, you remember where you are. And who you were with. Shizuo! How did this get so complicated?

“You…” you press your lips together. “You should go. Before…” you say quietly. His expression hardens as he leads you up.

“Don’t…” he begins, but then he looks past you and a wicked little smile cuts into his face. You know what that could only mean; you wrest yourself out of Izaya’s grip to whirl around and see Shizuo. His clothes are roughed up and he looks…enraged. Uh oh.

“S-shizuo! Are you okay?” You ask.

“What the hell are you doing!” He growls, but you’re not sure who he’s talking to, because he’s looking back and forth between the two of you. Izaya takes the initiative.

“Honestly, Shizu-chan, what do you think is going to happen if you leave a beautiful girl all alone at a bar? Someone might just snatch her up,” Izaya says, putting his arm around your waist again, but you push him away as you belatedly draw an ugly conclusion.

“I’m really just another pawn for you to provoke Shizuo with after all, huh? Get off of me,” you hiss, trying to suppress the hurt in your voice. He glances at you, momentarily frustrated, before clearing his face and turning his attention to the pressing threat of Shizuo. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MR. STEAL UR GIRL!!!! IZAYA YOU FUCKIN CLOWN...
> 
> i can't believe i've used the wonderwall joke not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES! it came on at 6am in the shop today and i just could not explain to my coworker that i was laughing because it was a reoccurring meme in my izaya/shizuo/reader coffeeshop au fanfic LOL


	11. Signs of Ruin

Shizuo looks angrier than you’ve ever seen him. More than the open mic night, more than that night at the concert. Both times that had been more…spontaneous. This was different. This was focused, and had been building, at least since you last saw him. You know…when your kiss had been interrupted!

You’re not sure what he could be thinking based on what he walked into. You’re still feeling a little buzzed, so you’re…kind of all over the map, mentally. You also feel a little guilty. You’re not only upset that Izaya just used you like that, but that you _fell_ for it. Had you really thought that had been the best way to avoid a conflict, or had you entertained that in spite of all his apparent agendas, he might actually care about something other than himself and his amusement long enough to enjoy a moment with you? That he cared about…you? You frown…he really tricked you like that, huh? And you let him? Stupid. Really, idiotic, just like he always said.

Your cheeks burn and you suppress the irritating potential of tears. Yet as mad you are, and as mad as Shizuo looks, you come to one consensus when you look him over: checking that he’s okay. What you should have done in the first place.

So, there’s a brief break in his aura of rage in favor of a shift to bewildered when you quickly approach him with worry.

“Shizuo…” you murmur. You gently examine him, and you’re almost surprised he lets you, considering how his fury radiates. But he’s trying to contain it so much that you can feel him shaking a little. You flatten his slightly torn collar; physically, he seems intact besides the ripped clothes.

Actually…you spread open his clenched fist. His knuckles are bruised. Bloody. Anyone else might’ve winced, but like the night of the concert, Shizuo once again seems more perturbed by your concern than any personal harm. You can sense Izaya’s eyes boring into you as you do this, and you bubble with anger yourself at the thought of him. 

You look into Shizuo’s brown eyes that are now lit with fire. “What happened?”

As he looks down at you, he seems to come to a decision as he withdraws his hand and sweeps it protectively in front of you. He tears his gaze away from you and back to Izaya.

“I’d like to know that myself, you fucking flea,” Shizuo growls at your bastard of a coworker. Izaya had definitely graduated from simply being a nuisance at this point.

Yet while you had been completely expecting that smug look on Izaya’s face (you know, the one that tempts you to smack him. Not like you needed the extra motivation right now though), that wasn’t his expression. Curiously, the only other time you had seen him look similar to this was when you had bandaged his hands. Sort of illegibly complicated with an undercurrent of frustration, but this one was different. More bitter and willful while somehow edging on a pout with his jaw working. 

It was the kind of expression that might belong on an intelligent problem child. Like he was watching someone solve a puzzle too slowly, and if only he could have it, he probably would have figured it out by now and if only he could get a better look at it, certainly he would’ve and why did that person get to have that puzzle in the first place? It was the kind of expression that started a playground fight that would only end in tears.

Whoa. Your whiskey-addled brain was making some weird interpretations. You blink and suddenly, Izaya’s cold smile appeared and whatever you had thought you had seen was gone. He puts one hand out in mock defense, the other remaining in his pocket.

“Really, I don’t understand why you must always blame me, Shizu-chan. A bunch of drunken delinquents are bound to start brawling with each other at any moment! They barely require a nudge. No need to be so mad; just another day on the job, right?”

That had been the only piece you had been missing. So, Izaya must have instigated a major fight outside to distract Shizuo, who would have to break it up, while he actually messed with you. _What a fun night this must be for him!_ You think bitterly. You really miss the days when he refused to train you on the espresso machine and ditched you on your shift instead of this.

“Oh, I’m not mad. I just want to beat the shit out of you!”

“Aw, is Shizu-chan upset that she was clearly having such a good time with _me_ instead of you? Chose me the moment you disappeared? How disappointing for you!”

“Shut up, Izaya,” you snap. The feeling of guilt blooms in your stomach. He’s obviously exaggerating, but yeah. God, you wish you had realized what he was doing earlier.

Shizuo glances at you, and you give him a look that hopefully conveys something along the lines of _I’m really sorry I let this bastard trick me can we please leave and forget this happened and I’ll make you all the affogatos you want even if you accidentally call them avocados but that’s so cute anyway so I actually love it_? Hmm. You’re not sure if all that comes across.

“I don’t…” he clears his throat and then shoots his glare back at Izaya. “Don’t call me that! And I know this is _your_ fault!”

He’s giving you a lot of credit. You owe him an explanation, but now’s not the time. Also, why are they talking about you like you’re not standing right there? 

As usual, Izaya barrels along anyway. “Maybe I was finally able to remind her what a beast you are! What a _monster!”_ He pauses and savors the look on Shizuo’s face. “All it took was a kiss,” he grins at you. Obviously not true, but the implication is plenty.

“I did NOT—” you protest, but it’s too late. Shizuo’s had more than enough.

“I’m gonna KILL YOU!” 

Izaya turns heel and runs out of the bar as Shizuo chases after him. AGH! Well, at least Shizuo didn’t throw anything. Well, you hear the echoes of things breaking and the shouts of other people, so…he probably has. You sigh deeply. How did this happen? Could this night get any worse?

You’re kind of okay with Shizuo giving Izaya a piece of his mind, but based on the wake of destruction they leave, you should probably try to stop them especially since it looks like they’re taking this outside. You’d hate for an innocent little old lady on the street to get flattened out there, or something.

So, you head after them as swiftly as possible, gripping the railing down the stairs so you don’t fall on your face. They seem to have left a path of people that had scattered out of the way so it’s not very hard to follow through the parted crowd.

You burst outside of the venue and you survey the scene. You see quite a few thugs in poor shape scattered around; Shizuo’s doing, you assume. Where’d they go? Geez, they’re fast. You look down the street as the night air chills you.

“Shizuo?” You call out. “Shizuooo?”

How could they just vanish like that? You hadn’t been _that_ far behind them…maybe you should just pick a direction and look for more signs of ruin.

You contemplate the most likely route, but before you can start walking, a guy grabs your arm. 

“Looking for Heiwajima, are you?” He sneers, and you try to pull yourself away, but his hold is iron. He looks almost comically sleazy, but uh. It’s not exactly funny right now.

“Let go of me! So what if I am?”

“So, he just beat up me and all my good friends, and we don’t like being messed with!” You observe his black eye. He reeks of alcohol. He jerks you over so that you slam against the bricks, scraping you.

“That has nothing to do with me, asshole! Get off me!” You demand again, stinging. His hand presses into your skin painfully. So, this night COULD get worse! A lot worse! You try to stay calm as you frantically try to think of a way to get out of this.

“Whatever, you must be his girl, right? Hey, you know…I think I’ve seen you around before…you work at that coffeeshop around the corner, don’t you?” He speculates.

“N-no, I don’t,” you lie, not well, and rather disgusted to learn you had ever served a thug like this coffee. 

“Well, it’s a shame. You’re cute, but we don’t appreciate what your boyfriend’s done. We’re going to have to send a message.”

“He was just doing his job! He’s-he’s not my boyfriend,” you say. Wasn’t there _anyone_ around? You futilely yank your arm again to no avail.

“Either way…lucky me,” he murmurs as he leans over you, and you knee him where it counts. He instinctively lets go as he yells in pain, and you run. It doesn’t matter where; you just need to get out of here. Screw this!

**-**

You run until you’re completely out of breath and are forced to stop. Your head is spinning, but you’re about sobered up at this point so it’s probably due to the exertion. You steady your hand on the side of a building, slightly doubled over as you catch your breath.

You don’t think anyone followed you…until you feel a hand on your shoulder and jump back.

“Leave…me alone!” You pant and try to take a gulp of air. Then to your surprise, you see it’s Shizuo. “Oh!”

His eyebrows are furrowed. You realize you’re shaking, but whether it’s from the cold or a delayed sense of fear about your assailant is unclear.

“Wh-where’d you go?” Your teeth chatter, and he stares at you. You’re still breathing hard, and there’s a part of you that now registers it as panic and not from the effort of running. You try to calm down. You know you’re safe now, but your heart continues to race. He still hasn’t said anything. Maybe he’s waiting for an apology?

“Oh, Shizuo! I’m sor—” Your eyes widen and your voice dies when he puts his arms around you. He’s warm. You bury your face into him, trying not to cry. This night was a disaster. And it had started out really nice. You take a moment to slowly calm down, and then peek up at him.

“Huh? I lost track of him. So I went back to look for you,” he grumbles unhappily. Hm…for the sake of the city’s wellbeing, maybe that was for the best. “But uh. What happened to you?”

Oh boy. There was that owed explanation.

“I, uh-it all happened so fast…he just showed up all of a sudden. I don’t know. I thought it would’ve been worse if you two ran into each other. But I should’ve…known better. Nothing happened though…”

It was true and untrue. You hadn’t kissed Izaya. But when you were dancing with him? It had crossed your mind. And you had been…flirting a little, if you were being honest with yourself. But all that was done with now.

“And then when I came outside…” He notices your handprint patterned bruises and scrapes and you feel him tense.

“Who did that? I’m gonna—was it—” He stammers in anger, and you shake your head. You know Shizuo’s mind jumped to Izaya (even though it was illogical, as he had been chasing him at that time). Izaya seemed to stick to emotional damage, anyway.

“No—no, it was someone outside. He said he was friends with the guys that had been fighting out there. I don’t know who he was…”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll kill all them,” he snarls, and then looks back at the direction of the venue. You hold onto him though.

“Shizuo, p-please don’t go.” You’re so tired and you don’t think you can handle that much more tonight. He grudgingly stops and turns back to you.

“I shouldn’t have left you. I’m why he went after you, right?” He frowns.

You blink because you’re not sure who he’s talking about.

“Ah-I don’t-it doesn’t matter anymore, Shizuo. It’s okay. You’re here now.”

He still distractedly frowns, so you take his hand and kiss his knuckles. You wanted to do that as soon as you saw the injury, but it didn’t exactly feel like a good time.

“It’s okay,” you repeat, and he finally seems to simmer down a little, because after a moment’s hesitation, he ruffles your hair. You slide your hand into his.

“Come on. I’ll take you home,” he says gruffly, and doesn’t let go. You close your eyes with exhaustion, breathing in his scent of smoke and pine as you huddle against him and walk. Maybe something from this night had been salvaged after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, the title IS a pun and i want you all to know that. cause uh. shizuo ruins signs *ba dum tsssk. crowd boos me off stage. i sadly leave* 
> 
> boy...izaya is gonna have a hard time bouncing back from THIS...stay tuned folks


	12. Rarely Pure and Never Simple Truths

It’s the opening night of the Christmas market, and there are already people excitedly chattering and rushing around the in search of gifts and sustenance as Christmas music distantly played. Your particular stall is a little separated from the rest of the market, lodged in the midst of a tree lot. It’s like you’re in a strange little transplanted forest with twinkly string lights overhead. The pine smells so fresh, and you faintly detect the scent of chestnuts too. It’s so cheesy that it almost feels like you walked into one of those bad, generic Hallmark flicks (that you secretly watch anyway). So, you quietly admit to yourself you would really be loving this ambience except you’re already getting cold.

Oh yeah, and except for the fact that you’re still incredibly angry about what happened the other night. It’s really impeding your ability to enjoy the TV movie-esque scenery. You rub your arms and smell the pine, which reminds you of Shizuo. 

Ah…Shizuo. He had taken you home, where the night had abruptly ended. Maybe he was having second thoughts about you…you frown. After what happened, you’re not sure if you would blame him. Too much trouble, maybe. But he was so hard to read. It didn’t necessarily mean anything; you got the sense he would try to be pretty respectful, too. Maybe you should text him. Or maybe he needs some space right now. You sigh. You have no idea what to do anymore. 

You wrap your hands around a mug and shiver; you can’t believe your forgot gloves of all things. You can already see your hands turning a little pink and can only assume your face is getting flushed too. Shinra had been too cheap to invest in a heater, which you thought was ridiculous; it was December, after all. You were going to turn into an ice cube by the end of the night. Or in the next five minutes.

At least being located off the beaten track meant the stand wasn’t overwhelmed by customers, so you tried to just enjoy the atmosphere and people watch without debating whether they could be charming or tedious. Right now, you noticed a couple picking out a Christmas tree. 

You eye the tiny clock you had brought and set on the counter. Izaya was quite late. Big surprise. Maybe he wasn’t coming. Maybe he quit. Maybe he left the city and changed his name and you would never see that smirky, infuriating bastard again; a girl can dream, right? You sip your hot chocolate.

You shift in on the small stool angled in the corner of the booth. Your day-old bruises underneath your layers were turning all sorts of colors. You didn’t think your minor scrapes were as bad, although there was nothing you could do about the one on your face. You thought it would’ve been weirder to put a lame band-aid on, so you had just cleaned it a little and assumed it’d heal in a couple days. You huff with irritation.

What were you doing? This wasn’t exactly a lucrative job, and anyway, there was no way a job was worth getting hurt over! You could work at another coffeeshop, in another part of town. Forget about coffee, you could do something else entirely. You had your eye on an opening at that bookshop a few blocks away. Or…you recall Halloween; you saw a flyer seeking ghost hunters, and really, that seemed safer than balancing these two. Why were you even here? You should just quit. Yeah, you should go give Shinra your two weeks. Or ditch unceremoniously. 

So…why were you still waiting in the freezing cold?

You peer up at the night sky, expecting to see stars only to have them obscured by overcast clouds. It looks like it might snow, actually.

Maybe you did want to see Izaya again. Maybe you wanted some answers. 

You pull yourself back. Why did you want to believe he had something to say so badly? Why were you holding out for that in spite of everything? How could there possibly be a part of you that remained unconvinced?

You know why. There was one piece that did couldn’t be explained by your theory that he had manipulated you using everything he could about your relationship with him to annoy Shizuo out of some long-time, intense dislike. Hate, even, perhaps. One thing that didn’t seem to fit…

That _look_ on his face. No, you didn’t imagine it. You had seen it, more than once now. And you didn’t know what it could possibly mean. You were stuck on it, because to you, it was the only thing that you could feel, without a doubt, that was real. That was genuine.

You swirl a candy cane into your mug, letting it slowly melt. God! Why did you care to find out, though! Were you just setting yourself up to get hurt again? Probably.

Enough of this. You were quitting. You’ll just have to apologize to Shinra for abandoning your shift, a (usually) fire-able offense anyway. Still, you should probably, at the least, not leave the money here. You set your mug of hot chocolate down and start securing the lockbox of cash. You feel a few snowflakes bluster in.

“Oh, is our little barista playing thief? That’s unexpected,” his familiar, floaty voice asks. Instead of turning around, you take a deep breath, not looking at him.

“Not going to be a barista much longer, Izaya,” you reply coldly. “Since you’re here, this can be your problem.”

“Hmm, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’m done,” you finally turn around and thrust the lockbox into his hands. He’s blocking the doorway, eyebrows raised in surprise. His dark hair that sometimes spikes up a little has been accentuated by the wind. His pale skin is rosy. Of course, he’s wearing that insufferable fur-lined coat. “Bye.”

He immediately puts the box aside, clearly working to appear neutral as he sees your face. “Dear me, what happened to you?”

“Oh _this?”_ You point to the scrape on your cheek. “This was just one result of your escapades!” You feel your voice rising. Did he think he could just waltz back in and things would be normal? “Is that really so shocking to you?”

Anger briefly flashes across his face before he carefully rearranges his face. “Did _he_ do that?” Izaya asks with a calibrated calm, and the question completely throws you for a loop. Did he mean Shizuo?? He must.

“W-what? Are you serious? Of course not! No, it was one of those thugs you riled up,” you reply, edging closer toward the door. You would be stunned he even asked that, except you’re reminded of how many times he warned you about Shizuo being dangerous. But still, you found it absurd to consider.

“Was that not part of your plan? I know this must be shocking to you, but actions have consequences, Izaya!” This time you drip with sarcasm.

“I didn’t plan…I didn’t plan for _this,_ ” he says, growing annoyed. His lack of snark is kind of disturbingly out of character, and you don’t know how to deal with that. But you’re about to dive out of the window if it means you can get out of here. You probably won't hurt yourself. 

“Oh, so you didn’t plan to use me to somehow taunt Shizuo? You didn’t _plan_ for me to get hurt?”

“You don't listen at all, do you? Really, you need to work on that. I told you then, it wasn’t about him! And don’t be stupid,” he unexpectedly brushes his hand against your face, over the rough flutter of tiny cuts. His touch is cold. There’s that look.

“Wh-what are you doing?” You can feel the edge of his hand extend to your jawline, and your heart starts to race. “Stop,” you quietly exhale and you look up at him, once again undercut by surprise.

You seize his hand. “You! You can’t just do things like that!”

“Like what?” He raises an eyebrow, and you burst into a sputtering mess again.

“I-I can’t believe you! You’re still trying to mess with me! Didn’t you do enough already?” You had envisioned this going a lot more in your favor. “I don’t understand what you could possibly want out of this. And I’m not sticking around to find out.”

You attempt to slip past him, but he doesn’t budge. The window is looking appealing.

“I'm not-you really can’t figure it out?” He looks frustrated. “How many times do I have to say it? Don’t be an idiot.”

“How could I _ever_ figure anything about you out? You never say what you mean!” You snap as you glower at each other. 

“Whatever, it doesn’t even matter, because the bottom line is, _you_ hurt me!” You push his chest for emphasis, and to hopefully get him to move. “You-hurt-me.” He catches your hands. “And you sure as hell don’t care, right?”

"Are you really that dense? I didn't want that to happen! I wanted-" He cuts himself off. "Are you looking for an apology, then?" He asks flatly, instead. 

"Oh, are you going to start now, then? I think you owe me a few," you respond. 

“You know, I _am_ sorry. But then again, don't you think everything I say is meaningless?” Izaya replies, and you roll your eyes. Not exactly satisfying. 

“No-no, you know that's not what I mean! You know what I'm looking for, Izaya? The truth!”

“Rarely pure?” A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. 

You jerk your hands free. “Never simple,” you grudgingly reply. 

"Is that really so much to ask for, Izaya?" You demand. He doesn't say anything. "I don't have to deal with this kind of crap with Shizuo," you mutter vaguely, and his eyes narrow. 

“Fine. The truth is, you have always assumed the worse of me, and the best of him, for some unfathomable reason. Anyway, really, it’s sad that you’re desperate enough to throw yourself at the first person to give you any attention,” Izaya says, bitterly. "That's the _truth."_

His words sting, but they're also revealing. You take a sharp breath as it hits you. 

Izaya is _jealous_. Has he been for awhile? 

Well, jealous or not, he couldn’t keep insulting you like that and then stringing you along based on his whims, especially because he clearly had an inability to express his feelings. If you were even right, that is.

“Are you kidding me? I’m not…desperate, I’m interested in someone who shows they like me! Either you don’t know anything about that, or even if you did, you refuse to ever admit it!" You snap, and pause for a moment. This was it, right? If he really was jealous, this is when he would tell you he _does_ like you, right? That maybe what you had felt before hadn't been a lie? It hadn't been completely stupid? But once again, he falls uncharacteristically silent as you stare at each other.

Or maybe you were wrong. Finally, he just mutters something that sounds like he's calling you an idiot again, and oddly _that's_ the final straw for you. 

"Enough of this, I'm leaving!" And with that, you turn around, haul yourself onto and over the counter, and out of the window. 

You feel fine when you manage to land on your feet, so maybe you should have bitten the bullet earlier. The drop had looked higher than it was from inside; it was only several feet, after all. You don’t pause or look back as you hurry away out of the tree lot and into the bustling crowd. Arguing with him like that had just been a total waste of time. What had you really expected from him? 

You didn’t notice before, but it had not only started flurrying, but quickly started snowing steadily. People swarm around the stands in the warm light, and you hate to say it, but you feel upset, and all mixed up. _Just give it up already_ , you think. Guess it really was time to quit. 

You feel someone catch your hand. You whirl around, ready to punch someone in the face. Why were people always grabbing you?

There’s a beat, and Izaya glares down at you.

You could still punch him, maybe. He’d probably dodge it, though. 

Of course he wouldn’t let you walk away.

He always has to get the last word in.

You glare back at him. There’s snow in his hair.

“Really, out of the window? That seemed a little extreme. You could have just said something,” he quips, stepping toward you. 

“Izaya—”

“So. Buying you a drink, complimenting you, and dancing with you isn’t enough. You’re so high maintenance,” he sighs, with another step, quite close now. 

“ _Izaya—_ ”

“You need to be _shown_ even more,” he snaps, echoing your words. He pulls you toward him, closing any remaining distance, and kisses you, hard. 

“But, I wouldn’t know anything about that,” he accuses softly, and kisses you. One hand is around your waist, holding you firmly, like when you danced. The other frames your face, like when he touched you before.

“Even if I did, I would refuse to admit it,” he murmurs, and kisses you. The hand on your face moves back to tangle in your hair. One of your hands is on him, like when you pushed him away. But you’re not pushing him away now.

He pulls away, looking at you expectantly. For all of his intensity, you can see how vulnerable he is as you look up at him. He's waiting to see what you’ll do. His face is pink, his dark hair is unruly, and his eyebrows knit together. A snowflake catches in his eyelashes, and he blinks. 

Oh, you can’t stand him. You can’t believe him. You can’t—you grab his hood and yank him toward you, and you kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @hellafish said this is me writing the fic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUDcSeUvkOw&ab_channel=KenMcDougall AND has accused me of being a slut for izaya. thoughts? https://imgur.com/a/7d6LqHf
> 
> (sorry shizuo fans but don’t worry it ain’t over till it’s over!!!!)


	13. No Thoughts, Head Empty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the LONG wait on the update! it's been a challenging couple months, and i think i forgot that i originally started this off as a fun little fic and i want to get back to that spirit, especially since i was sort of dreading this chapter (AGH u will see why) and i'm trying to figure out how i want to do the ending! we getting close, friends!?
> 
> i really love reading the comments so thank you so much for that!!! also i hope the last chapter didn't genuinely upset anyone (hello my shizuo stans), this whole thing is meant to be a fun time! please forgive meee
> 
> *blows a kiss at a vending machine* for shizuo *blows a kiss at the trash* for izaya

In that brief, spontaneous moment when you kiss him, your mind is blank. You can feel the shape of surprise of his lips for a second until it molds to yours. His hand traces under your jaw and tilts your chin up, fingers cold in comparison to the warmth of his mouth. You want that warmth. You press into him, the motion threatening to send the two of you tumbling in a tangle of limbs. Izaya’s arm envelopes you in an effort to prevent this, but you both stumble a little anyway. 

“Clumsy,” he whispers in your ear and you exhale with a breathless laugh. He moves down to kiss your neck, and one of yours travels from the grip of his jacket to the back of his head—

“What are you both doing out here?!” The familiar, overzealous voice fully interrupts you, and you turn to see your puzzled manager standing next to a terrifying, old-fashioned set of reindeer that you didn’t notice before. You shove Izaya away so reflexively you almost fall over again, but he naturally catches his step.

“Shinra! We-we were just—” You frantically try to smooth out your hair, completely bewildered. Izaya glances at you as you stammer and wipes away his look of frustration to a typical expression of amusement as Shinra continues to stare agape. You’d almost buy the look if you hadn’t just seen how annoyed he was. In fact, he’s uncharacteristically quiet; maybe he’s just going to force you to try to explain this one.

You take another step back, as if every step will take you back another minute in time until you bump into a Rudolph. You are unbelievably uncoordinated. As you try to stop it from hitting the ground, you fumble and detach the head and it flies from the body. Izaya smirks at you as you manage to ungracefully catch the Rudolph head. You’re about to pat yourself on the back for the save until a nearby toddler looks over at you, looks at the reindeer head, and bursts into tears. Oh, god.

“No, no—ah!! it’s okay!!! See?” You snap the head back on…rather violently. She cries harder, and then her parent notices and picks her up, shooting you a death glare.

“S-sorry! Uh…anyway…” You softly pat poor Rudolph. “We were…getting…decoration ideas!” You finish lamely. Like Shinra didn’t just see everything.

“Wow…!” Shinra shakes his head, decidedly ignoring the weakest lie possibly ever given. You fidget with the antler, waiting for someone to say something. Shinra takes a deep breath.

“Okay…I’ve decided I really don’t want to know! I just came to see how the opening was going.” He puts his hands out defensively, and relief washes over you. Excellent. Everyone will pretend this didn’t happen. You can resume driving each other crazy for normal, coffee-related reasons that don’t involve kissing. Because that was what was happening before now.

“But don’t make out when you’re on the clock. You’ll just have to do that in your free time,” Shinra unfortunately continues. You think you’re going to die of embarrassment and cover your face with your hands. You think this lecture might go on for a while, and by force of habit, start tuning him out.

You try to process what just happened. Okay, you kissed Izaya! Well, he kissed you! Well…you did kiss him back…why did you do that?? He drives you crazy, he’s unreadable, he…likes you? He’s liked you for a while? But you like…you like Shizuo! _Oh no…_ fuck.

You can’t help but peek at Izaya through your fingers as Shinra continues to rant. Whatever frustration that was present has developed into true amusement. He was totally enjoying your mortification. You’re gonna kill him.

“…And someone needs to be at the booth at all times!” Shinra finishes, then comes to a realization. “Wait…Did you guys leave the register unlocked…?”

The answer of, “Shinra, as it turns out, neither one of us took the time to secure the money before arguing, running away, impulsive romantic confessions, or unexpectedly reciprocated kissing,” is conveyed in your silence. You recall you had actually started to lock it, but then Izaya had showed up, leading to a spectacular fight.

“Oh my god you guys! Seriously?!”

“Sorry—”

“Go!!!” Shinra points back to where the booth is situated, and you half-jog back, Izaya following behind you easily while Shinra still took the time to stop and call Celty to gossip about these recent developments.

“That was stupid,” you mumble, and Izaya arches an eyebrow.

“What exactly are you referring to?”

You don’t respond as you reenter the Christmas tree farm and guiltily smell the pine.

“I hope it’s not about you kissing me,” Izaya states with satisfaction.

“Y-you-well, you-you kissed me!” You reply with reproach, the exchange between the two of you beginning to sound like your oft rehashed argument about the appropriate amount of foam on a macchiato. Like maintaining a particular ratio of foam to espresso was the same as maintaining a particular kissing ratio.

“No, you _like_ me,” he says smugly.

“No, _you_ like me,” you grumble like a child. If he starts singing K-I-S-S-I-N-G, that might be more infuriating than anything he’s ever done. Okay, that’s an overstatement. He did figure out a way to have thugs attack Shizuo. Oh yeah, remember that! How’d you end up between two guys like this?

“I do _not_ like you,” you add, approaching the booth.

“Evidence suggests otherwise,” he murmurs, and you think he’s going to kiss you again, and your heart is racing.

“DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! CHECK THE CASHBOX!” Shinra yells from behind, still on the phone, and you jump. “Celty, they were going to AGAIN!”

As it turned out, since the window itself had been the primary exit for you both (Izaya couldn’t be bothered with door either) you had at least left the booth locked, if not necessarily the register. Of course, the keys were inside.

“Okay, give me a boost,” you say to Izaya.

“It would be easier if I—” he starts, but you start climbing up over his tall frame to the window, and he reluctantly extends his knee for you to use as a step. “I could have just—” you grab his shoulder and reach for the ledge of the window.

“This is not comfortable—” you push his head down, “That was not necessary,” he mutters as you finally pull yourself up.

“Oh, like your way would have been better,” you reply, except Izaya easily climbs up effortlessly and smirks at you.

He opens his mouth— “Don’t say another word,” you stop him, looking over the register. “Shinra, it’s fine!”

Shinra peers up through the window. “You guys really suck at your jobs. If I cared more than the minimum amount, I should have fired you when you broke the espresso machine. Also, this is a terrible spot for the booth. Why did we get stuck over here? No one can see it! I’ll have to call the market…Oh yeah, there was another point to me coming, I completely forgot with the two of you hooking up…”

You try to look anywhere else. So much for everybody pretending it didn’t happen. Shinra points at you. “I need you to help me finish the roastery paperwork back at the shop ASAP! It’s a whole mess because they’re too backed up to deliver the order themselves it with the holidays madness. You’ll need to pick up the order there tomorrow! Come on!”

“Wh-what? I have to do the paperwork now?” You glance at the time. Your shift wasn’t over for another hour, but the paperwork could take longer depending on how much Shinra left for you. On the other hand, it was that or finish the shift with Izaya, who you could feel looking at you. You don’t look at him.

“Actually, yeah, okay.” You slide past Izaya out of the door of the booth like a normal person, but his hand brushes your wrist as you pass, and you take a sharp breath. He doesn’t say anything though, which wasn’t really like him at all, but you can’t even think straight right now. This was ridiculous. You were ridiculous. He was ridiculous.

Shinra waves a bright goodbye at Izaya, who was looking miffed, and you both head back to the shop. You shiver as it continues to lightly snow, but you walk alongside him. The shop is closed while the Christmas market goes on, but you’re still using it for supplies and managerial duties in the meantime.

Usually Shinra handled the coffee orders himself, but sometimes he asked you to do the coffee inventory counts when he’s not there.

“All of this sounds like it would be…the manager’s job to handle,” you note as he babbles more about the annoyance of working with the roastery.

“It is! See, I’m managing: that’s why I’m telling you to do it!” He beams, and pats you on the arm.

“So, anyways, onto more interesting topics. What the heck are you doing? I thought you were dating Shizuo!”

Ah, go figure. You don’t say anything, as you have no idea what you’re doing. Your mind is racing. Thinking about Shizuo fills you with anxiety after what just happened. You can’t imagine seeing him right now…for that matter, you can’t imagine seeing Izaya, either. You don’t know what you would say to either of them right now.

But you recall Shizuo hasn’t even contacted you since the other night. Since, yes, your _date_ , and in spite of your stress, you still feel disappointed. Maybe there wasn’t as much to navigate as much as you had thought…maybe you should just run away and change your name and avoid dealing with those two entirely.

“You should be careful! At least think about it,” he chirps. “They’re both…well, you know.” You stare at him. Shinra is the last person you would expect to volunteer romantic advice. And you had forgotten he’d known the two of them for a while.

“They’re both what?”

You and Shinra stop at a street corner and wait to cross. He looks at you curiously.

“Hmm…well, let me put it this way. They may hate each other, but at least one thing they have in common is that they don’t easily let people in.” He pauses, and smiles. “So don’t be dumb about it and get your priorities in order!”

He crosses the street, leaving you standing there for a moment in surprise, and you ironically recall his lecture on proper etiquette.

Then, you rush back up to him. He took long strides. You’re about to protest it all: the extra work, the unsolicited opinion…but…Shinra’s right. And he might be doing you a favor, even if he was trying to pawn off some additional work.

He’s given you a reason to go on an excursion away from the shop, which could be a good time to think things over while you avoid Izaya and Shizuo. You didn’t like feeling like such a mess, and obviously your decision-making skills were in dire need of improvement. Better to go sort and process and then address things… continuing to make these kind of rash choices was only going to end in disaster. At least, that’s what you think he means. Still, whoever calls you dumb next was getting a slap. Odds were good it would be Izaya.

You rub your cold hands; the shop really isn’t very far from the market. You were nearly there.

“Hmph! Yeah…okay. I suppose you’ve got a point,” you reply. “Who knew you would be the one to be throwing out wisdom?” You glance at him with a grudging smile. Shinra was technically your boss, and technically annoying but also, he was kind of your friend, too. Sometimes you needed to be called out.

“Yeah, I’m pretty great like that! Anyway, with me and Celty…” You let him blather on for the next couple blocks, half-listening to him as he recounts his relationship with Celty. He’s already told you this a few times, not including the public ballad version. You finally approach the darkened shop and he takes a breath.

“You sound like a lucky guy,” you reply. Even if you didn’t care for his more weird comments about Celty, they were pretty obviously in love, and who couldn’t admire that?

“That I am!!! So, good luck with all that mess,” he says, and you roll your eyes.

“What do you think I should do?” You ask.

“Oh, I have no clue! That’s your problem,” Shinra happily unlocks the door.

“Great…thanks…” You flick on the lights as you enter and notice the stack of papers on the counter. Shinra pulls off a key from the ring and hands it to you.

“You’ll have to use the van to pick up the order tomorrow. It’s parked around the corner,” he says, and looks around the shop. “Well, have fun! Byyye!”

“I thought I was just helping you!”

“You are helping me! You’re doing it!” You groan as he cheerily waves goodbye, locking the shop door behind him.

—

The paperwork wouldn’t have been so bad, but Shinra neglected to mention that the weekly deposits had to be sorted through, too. The register had definitely gotten messed up somehow during the week, so you’re doing some time-consuming recounting.

You sip some of the drip you made earlier when you realized this was going to take a while. It’s a little strange sitting in the empty shop, at night, alone. It’s never really quiet; even when you close, there’s bickering. You suppose that this will be the case again tomorrow when you do the delivery, as the roastery is a bit out there and it gets dark so early now. Besides, you’re not exactly in a rush back. You notice it’s still flurrying out, and the Christmas lights that outline the shop window reflect off the snow colorfully.

You go back to trying to count the enormous pile of coins, and then lose your spot _. Agh!_ You’re so close to finishing, but your brain is just not cooperating right now. There are too many thoughts (that you’re trying to ignore).

Problems include:

  * Shizuo
  * Izaya



You try to think about the course of events logically. As for Shizuo, well…you do really like him. You’ve liked him for so long. You haven’t talked to him since your disastrous date, so you’re not sure where he stood on things, but obviously, kissing Izaya would not be a fact in your favor if you wanted to move forward. On the other hand, you have to believe at this point that it’s true that Izaya, well, likes you. If that’s true, it’s probable he’s liked you for a little while, and thus has been jealous, maybe, and is basically unable to express his emotions honestly, except well, he finally just did? You don’t know what to make of it. Both of them had some issues…

But how did you _feel_ about Shizuo? About Izaya? You push away that line of questioning, moving on from quarters to dimes.

You hear a knock at the door, and lose your concentration again. “AGH!”

You glance up to see who the hell interrupted you, ready to announce out that you’re closed, goodbye, no thank you.

And of course, it’s one of your problems knocking.

—

The change goes flying. Were you always this uncoordinated? You squeak. You didn’t expect to see Shizuo _so_ soon. You should have known though he would’ve preferred to see you in person rather than call or text or something.

You hesitantly get up and step over the scattered coins, wondering just how badly this conversation is going to go. A few hours ago, you would have been delighted to see him, but now you’re filled with stress and guilt. It’s not like you cheated or something, but still, it didn’t feel great. You don’t know what you’re going to say…

He extinguishes his cigarette as you let him inside, looking like his usual self: blond unruly hair, posture not exactly slouched but casual with one hand in his pocket, and altogether, very handsome. There’s a little snow on him, but he shakes it off. He’s not wearing a coat, so you distractedly wonder how he stays so warm.

“Hey, why’re you closed?”

“We uh…we opened the stall at the Christmas market.”

He glances down at all of the coins on the floor. “Oh. What’s that for?”

“I need to count it. I got startled and I knocked all over…clumsy!” You accidentally echo Izaya, and laugh uneasily. You start gathering the change. He looks at you for a moment and then helps you pick up the rest in a fluid motion, plopping them back on the counter with a clatter.

“Oh! Thanks!”

You think about the last time you saw him, and remembering the way you had kissed Shizuo before everything else had happened…you glance at his knuckles. They were partially healed with some unpleasant scabs. You look away. Everything was happening way too fast. You’re all over the place. The solution is clear: you need to change your name and move.

Instead, you pull out a container of band-aids you have stashed under the counter. You wordlessly start wrapping them over some of his fingers that are more worse for wear, and he lets you. This quiet with him is usually comfortable, but not tonight.

When you’re finished, you point to the mugs. “Do you, uh, want anything to drink?”

“Huh? Oh. Nah, I’m good right now.”

He shifts his weight, clearly feeling awkward. You pick up another mug anyway. From the fridge, you pull out the tub of vanilla ice cream you keep for him, and put a few scoops in.

“That’s probably better, anyway.” You hand it to him and exchange tentative smiles before and look away again. You sit back down at the one of the counter stools near the register.

He sits down next to you, watching you count as you whisper the numbers. He smells like smoke and pine, he smells like the tree market.

You think about what Shinra had said. You don’t want to hurt Shizuo…and as muddled as you feel, you at least know don’t want things to end, but surely they would if you told him. You never were exclusive with Shizuo; it wasn’t even like you had a conversation about that at all. But kissing the guy he hated (same guy who interrupted and sabotaged your date?) Not…your best moment…you knew you had to be honest.

Finally, you manage to finish counting the change. You jot down the number and finish calculating with the additional cash. You type the total into the register’s monitor, take out the deposit money and put it in the lockbox below.

“Okay, well. All done!” You shred your scrap paper, playing with the pieces around the surface as you try to think of what to say.

“I uh, didn’t hear from you after…” you start, quietly. “After everything.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I thought…I thought you wouldn’t want to see me again.”

“What? Not this again, Shizuo…”

“You got hurt…” he continues gruffly. “And I wasn’t around to—” He stops himself, looking kind of angry, but it’s not directed at you. It’s at himself. “But then I remembered what you said at the concert. About disappearing without a word.”

You stare at him, heart aching. You gotta tell him. “Shizuo…”

“It’s not cool, so I wanted to see if you—”

“Izaya and I kissed!” You blurt out. “I’m-I’m sorry! I-I was surprised! Not the other night though,” you clarify as you babble anxiously, “That was true! I mean, I didn’t the other night, but tonight, we-I-did. I wasn’t—expecting him—he keeps—confusing me!” You choke out, and you can’t even look at Shizuo as you wring your hands. “I’m sorry! It’s me-I’m just—confused,” you repeat, and close your eyes. That was awful. _Sorry? I’m confused? That’s all I can come up with?_

You open your eyes to see his jaw working. He’s clearly working to stay calm, but you can feel the anger quickly rising from him.

“Shizuo—”

“That fucking flea manipulates everything. You saw yourself. If you-well, I’m not-” He doesn’t know what to say either, and he’s trying to control himself. “I’m not getting caught in his shit anymore,” he stands up roughly, and starts to move to the door, breathing hard.

“Look. I came to see if you were okay. I probably should have said something sooner. Do whatever you want.”

You stand up too, feeling the tears of frustration that were forming in the corner of your eyes, and blink to them back; _Not now!_

“Shizuo, I…”

He shoves one hand his pocket, one hand on the doorknob. “You let me know if you’re not getting to get caught up in his shit anymore, either,” he mutters and leaves you alone with your swirling thoughts in the darkened shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back to my roots: no thoughts head empty <3 i am incapable of rereading my own work at this point so some things might not be totally consistent <3


End file.
